In 11th grade, my coach picked me to go along with my rugby team to play our mid-season games against BSP in Paris.
While the games were fun, I had more fun at night.
My host family’s son (we’ll call him George) took my teammate and I out to the James Hetsfield Bar where we met up with some of his friends and other teammates of mine.
Within about 5 minutes of sitting down and introducing myself to George’s friends, everyone had vacated the table except for myself, my roommate, and a petite girl from Ecuador (we’ll call her Playette)
I started with a simple “Hey” and conversation rolled. I don’t remember exactly what I was saying but three minutes into our conversation, she laughs at a joke I made and places her hand on my upper thigh for emphasis. I look at my roommate, he looks at me, and we both think “Game On!”.
I vaguely remember mentioning that I was studying German and her eyes widened as she exclaimed, “I love German! Teach me some German.”
I taught Playette three dirty words. I talked with her about how I loved to travel and where I have traveled so far. Hold up! She’s gotta make a quick phone call. I walk away to talk to somebody else. After about 10 minutes, I walk back to her. “Where did you go?” We talk some more and she accuses me of being a player. I don’t remember my reply, but I do remember me suggesting we go outside for some “fresh air”.
Next thing I know, I lead her outside, and start making out with her against a tree. In public.
Now hold it. This is the success part of the story. The next, is a fail.
Somehow I thought I needed to make her jealous, or seem not as important, like she interrupter our conversation earlier talking on the phone for a few minutes before I walked.
I said, “Time for me to check my phone for something important.” I checked my phone for a text I already knew was there, from my ex. I sighed and put it away. “Who was it?”, she asked me. “Just a text from my ex”, I replied. “Do you still care about her?”
I paused and as soon as I did her demeanor changed. “Maybe you’re not over her yet.”
I was sure that was, but for a minute I actually thought about it. I didn’t kiss her anymore afterwards. Game over, thanks for playing.
To my mind, there is more than one lesson here.
1. Overtly making a girl jealous (telling about other girls) does not work. It backfires.
2. I just met the girl and was making out with her. Anything outside of figuring how to isolate her should not have crossed my mind. There is a time and place for everything.
As for the body language, I could say that her body language was open, her legs crossed towards me, or she was staring at my lips it would not matter. I don’t remember reading any of that from her body language. The important part is that I recognized her touching my leg for what it was, an obvious indicator of interest, and acted upon it. And this was before I got into game and realized what I saw happen before my very eyes.