Lesson on Body Language and Fail #3

In 11th grade, my coach picked me to go along with my rugby team to play our mid-season games against BSP in Paris.

While the games were fun, I had more fun at night.

My host family’s son (we’ll call him George) took my teammate and I out to the James Hetsfield Bar where we met up with some of his friends and other teammates of mine.

Within about 5 minutes of sitting down and introducing myself to George’s friends, everyone had vacated the table except for myself, my roommate, and a petite girl from Ecuador (we’ll call her Playette)

I started with a simple “Hey” and conversation rolled. I don’t remember exactly what I was saying but three minutes into our conversation, she laughs at a joke I made and places her hand on my upper thigh for emphasis. I look at my roommate, he looks at me, and we both think “Game On!”.

I vaguely remember mentioning that I was studying German and her eyes widened as she exclaimed, “I love German! Teach me some German.”

I taught Playette three dirty words. I talked with her about how I loved to travel and where I have traveled so far. Hold up! She’s gotta make a quick phone call. I walk away to talk to somebody else. After about 10 minutes, I walk back to her. “Where did you go?” We talk some more and she accuses me of being a player. I don’t remember my reply, but I do remember me suggesting we go outside for some “fresh air”.

Next thing I know, I lead her outside, and start making out with her against a tree. In public.

Now hold it. This is the success part of the story. The next, is a fail.

Somehow I thought I needed to make her jealous, or seem not as important, like she interrupter our conversation earlier talking on the phone for a few minutes before I walked.

I said, “Time for me to check my phone for something important.” I checked my phone for a text I already knew was there, from my ex. I sighed and put it away. “Who was it?”, she asked me. “Just a text from my ex”, I replied.  “Do you still care about her?”

I paused and as soon as I did her demeanor changed. “Maybe you’re not over her yet.”

I was sure that  was, but for a minute I actually thought about it. I didn’t kiss her anymore afterwards. Game over, thanks for playing.

To my mind, there is more than one lesson here.

1. Overtly making a girl jealous (telling about other girls) does not work. It backfires.

2. I just met the girl and was making out with her. Anything outside of figuring how to isolate her should not have crossed my mind. There is a time and place for everything.

As for the body language, I could say that her body language was open, her legs crossed towards me, or she was staring at my lips it would not matter. I don’t remember reading any of that from her body language. The important part is that I recognized her touching my leg for what it was, an obvious indicator of interest, and acted upon it. And this was before I got into game and realized what I saw happen before my very eyes.


2 thoughts on “Lesson on Body Language and Fail #3

  1. The worst is when you fail on something so obvious. I’ve had at least 2 of these and I got them RIGHT to the point where I could’ve escalated directly to railing them and then quit because I thought that was far enough for whatever reason. So very frustrating, but the successes seem even sweeter in comparison.

    • The way I see my failures now is that I it is positive. I feel it is better to learn from my mistakes now, while the price of learning is still low.

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