On Congruency

I read a lot of talk in the manosphere* on the importance of congruity in the matters of seduction; especially when dealing with the aesthetically gifted.

That is to say, one should keep a congruent frame, or persona, throughout an interaction, or seduction, lest the spell be broken and the other person become suspicious of you.

People who use fake names, such Burt, spies, protected witnesses, and fugitives are all too aware of this. One slip up, and you could give up the game. One “Oh shit” can wipe out of whole bunch of “atta boys”. One beta backslide can eviscerate all the alpha credibility you’ve developed over the years. One cringe worthy text will chase all those tingles out of her vagina until it clams shut, bone dry.

Today – I saw congruence from a different perspective. That of a follower observing his leader. That is to say, I leader should be consistent if he wishes to speak with authority.

The example I speak of is the head honcho of the PT formation I am at, twice a week. He attempts to come across as a hard ass, and exhorts us all to act professional, in the “army way”. At the end of PT, he falls us out into horse shoe formation, tells us that we need to “get in formation faster, have more discipline”, the same thing he says every time. Nothing new. Almost if he says something, just to say something. Then he falls us back into formation. Only then are we dismissed.

I know this man better because he’s in one of my classes. He’s a jokester and doesn’t take the class seriously. He’s not professional. I know he’s not the hard ass, military disciplinarian nor the shining beacon of inspiration to the company. When everyone else wonders why this man sounds like such a douche when he trying to speak with gravitas, I know why.

He is not congruent.


2 thoughts on “On Congruency

  1. A guy at my gym suffers from the same problem. He occasionally says: Okay, the next minute I am not your friend.

    And he speaks loudly. But he can not do it without smiling, defusing his intent. Eager to do it right, in a way. I once told him jokingly that he smiles too much for it to be believable. Oh well, no one gets hurt.

    The best way to be congruent is to be yourself. But that requires more training than anything else. Requires you to know your demons.

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