Conversation with a Female Friend: Part 1

I was talking to a female friend on Facebook today, who I frequently joke around with. I knew her from when she briefly went to high school with me and I’ve kept in touch with her ever since.

Every now and then I talk to her about things I cannot help but insert my new red pill views in conversation when ever I hear her spout blue pill platitudes. She talked about hitting a man if he looked at her “like a steak” which launched this conversation:

Her: If a man ever made that kind of face at me, I would happily kick him in the crotch

That’s not true though, because creepy black guys at my past uni did and I never had the courage to do it

Me: probably because they would hit you back

Her:…I never thought of that

Me: why not?

Her: I don’t know, I just never thought of anyone hitting a girl

Given, I could probably take a guy

Me: well

Her: I just can’t imagine someone actually hitting a girl

Me: if some girl hit you

wouldn’t you hit her back?

Her: Well yeah

Me: so why is it different for a guy?

Her: Well, if I hit a guy, it would be fair to hit me back

But if he looked at me like a steak

Things wouldn’t go so smoothly

Me: then you look at him like a steak back

Her: Hahaha

Me: doesn’t warrant punching him

Her: Pull a knife out

Me: punishment doesn’t fit the crime

Her: I never thought of it that way

Me: welcome to the real world sugah

Her: I don’t like the real world. I prefer my mind where I can hypothetically beat up 150+ lb men

Me: as long as you keep your imaginary world rules to yourself, that’s fine

but when you apply that logic to the real world

you get suprised

this shit happens

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=wsJRKDpqX6Y

She didn’t talk to me or initiate conversation for a while after that.

However I commented on a photo of hers today, that showcased a funny face just to poke fun, but I ended up starting an important conversation that I think all girls should read. Some of the initial conversation got deleted because she overstepped a line and got scared when I pushed back, so I am summarizing from memory.

It started out relatively innocent banter about her photo:

Me: Trollface approves this picture.

Her: You’re gonna get punched.

Me: You’ll probably punch my rock hard abs, sprain your wrist, and suffer a hearty bout of troll laughter.

Her: I’ll probably break your nose and suffer the pain that way.

Her: Rock hard abs? Who are you kidding?

Me: I’d probably headbutt your punch and break your knuckles like I have done others.

Her: Well that escalated quickly.

Me: You’re talking about punching me in the face. You gotta be careful how you talk about that. You say the wrong word in the wrong sentence and I go from trollface to warface.

Warface does not acknowledge rules, handicap itself against the weak, restrain itself in the interest of chivalry, or give pause to the weary.

Her: I got scared as soon as I read the first sentence.

She then messaged me to apologize for offending me, which kick started a whole conversation that’s been waiting to happen:

Her: Sorry I offended you Thomas

Me: Just gotta careful when you play with fire, Youmna

Her: Okay  I’m sorry, I learned my lesson

Me: When you told me how you never thought about getting hit back as a girl

This is what happens when you act under the assumption that you don’t get hit back

I enjoy your company and your friendship

so in the grand scheme of things it’s not a big deal

and really

you’re only encountering strong words

but I want you to know

the beneath the surface of every nice guy you meet and know

there is an underlying violence

different guys have differing levels of control of this violence

and different things can trigger it

Her: Ok

Me: talking about fighting

even in play dances a subtle line around this

guys play fight all the time

the play dominance games

call each other bad names when it’s really endearing

Her: But why would they play fight if it could trigger a real fight?

Me: some guys even become best friends after a fight

Her: What? How?

Me: as a girl you don’t recognize the subtle rules

well

for example

when two guys are wrestling

or play fighting

they don’t use all their strength

they learn this when they are younger

by playing with friends

or family

usually you’ve got some male family role models

but

the minute you use all your strength

shit gets real

Her: Sort of like puppies

Me: you have precious little time to apologize

and explain you are only playing

before words go out the window

and the animal fight or flight response comes in

Her: I’m so happy I’m a girl

Me: the same dynamic is present in words

a battle of wits

“Hey faggot”

“Shut up asshole, I’ll punch you in the teeth”

“Yeah right, you’d sprain your wrist”

etc

etc

Her: Yeah…

Me: I can’t explain how it works exactly

Her: But what if I’m just teasing?

How does the line work there?

Me: Well

you were teasing when you said that I was gonna get punched

it doesn’t specify where

how hard

etc

playful

but when you mention breaking my nose and your hand hurts because you punched me so hard

it sounds like a fights coming

Her: Oh

Me: immediately I came up with my response

of breaking your knuckles

in a sense

I was still playing

but it’s more of warning you that things are escalating

Her: Oh! Okay! I seeeee

Me: you back off and things smooth over

you don’t back off

and even though intellectually I know you are teasing

and my friend

are not a threat to me

or trying to be

subconsciously

you become one

and my thoughts turn from

“How to troll Youmna”

to

“How to break every bone in Youmna’s body so that she will be no threat in the present or the future”

Her:…well then, I need to watch myself

Me: yes

Her: Sorry Thomas

Me: most girls don’t understand how this dynamic works

Her: I promise I didn’t mean anything by it

Me: I accept your apology and I know you didn’t mean anything

your punishment is this lenghty explanation

I also explain this to you so you don’t accidentally trip me off

or some other guy

the worst part

is you are in America

where a lot of guys subdue this part of their nature

and they act girly

or have little male influence

or few male role models to teach them how to manage their nature

so that their nature doesn’t manage them

Her: Yeah

Me: in one sense

these guys are pussies

and hardly ever lash out

they’re submissive

and put up little to no fight

but they still have the nature

it’s just harder to tell when it will come out

and they don’t know how to control it

look at the recent shooting

single mother

no male role model

socially awkward

probably feminized

I do not condone what happened

but I recognize it as fighting back

that’s how long his fuze was

Her: Yeah

Me: because he had no outlet for these increasing feelings

they manifested themselves in a murderous spree

Her: I guess just cause my friends here are so mellowed out, they never seem bothered by my teasing

Me: most of the time they aren’t

Her: But I’ll definitely watch what I’m saying so it doesn’t seem threatening

Me: but that’s the dangerous part

because you don’t see any repercussions

even small ones

you forget that there are and can be repercussions

Her: Yeah

Me: the simple thing I am going over with you

is the obvious stuff

I am not like most guys in America

I would say I have a shorter fuse

but I am more aware of it

and I can manage it to an extent

Her: So you respond better to hugs

Haha

Me: oh

I didn’t follow for a minute

well

as long as you get my point

Her: Yes I do

Me: we can defuse the serious atmosphere this talk has

Her: But matter is, I won’t know everyone the second I meet them. So I shouldn’t test their fuse by using harsh wording. Because someone could have a short fuse and not know how to control it

Me: yes

She then talked about her experience of getting hit in the face by a guy in a club. I asked her about that in another conversation. You’ll have to see part two of this post, because there’s too much in here for just one post.

~Wald

8 thoughts on “Conversation with a Female Friend: Part 1

  1. Pingback: Conversation with a Female Friend: Part | Scar Tissue

    • Girls used to know that something like a primal trigger existed.

      Maybe even knew how to deal with it.

      Now you have guys who are not even sure it exists.

      Wald

      • Oh, but they do know it exists. They will deny it, though, feeling ashamed, like I did. I always had that emotion, but I never had the courage to express it or – god beware – act on it.

        How do you deal with it?

        • I generally talk about it in certain ways.

          1) I don’t tolerate hitting. If she hits me, I will hit back harder.
          2) I slap them if they slap me. If it is ambiguous as to whether I deserved the slap, I just don’t talk to them.
          3) If they threaten to call the police – I remind them that it takes 20-30 minutes for the police to arrive. Plenty of time to give the police a real reason to come and arrest me.

          Wald

          • I like it. Reminds me of the woman I put in her place on the street. Once you are actually ready to become violent, something changes. Shit becomes real. Penetrates the surface. People start to wonder: Oh shit, what the hell did I step on just now?

            • Yes.

              That I tell girls that I’m willing to hit them is enough to keep them in line. I’ve got no secret desires to hit them – just want to keep them in line. It’s a situation I’d never want to be in.

              It’s a problem of today’s world. Men forgetting that they have power over women and women knowing all too well that they have power over men.

              Wald

            • Yes, I can understand it. I would not like to do it, either. It feels bad. And if you use your fist, you are likely to hurt your knuckles or fingers or more. In extreme cases, that is. Those past a slap.

              Yeah, man. Well said.

What do you think about that?