I was talking to a female friend on Facebook today, who I frequently joke around with. I knew her from when she briefly went to high school with me and I’ve kept in touch with her ever since.
Every now and then I talk to her about things I cannot help but insert my new red pill views in conversation when ever I hear her spout blue pill platitudes. She talked about hitting a man if he looked at her “like a steak” which launched this conversation:
Her: If a man ever made that kind of face at me, I would happily kick him in the crotch
That’s not true though, because creepy black guys at my past uni did and I never had the courage to do it
Me: probably because they would hit you back
Her:…I never thought of that
Me: why not?
Her: I don’t know, I just never thought of anyone hitting a girl
Given, I could probably take a guy
Her: I just can’t imagine someone actually hitting a girl
Me: if some girl hit you
wouldn’t you hit her back?
Her: Well yeah
Me: so why is it different for a guy?
Her: Well, if I hit a guy, it would be fair to hit me back
But if he looked at me like a steak
Things wouldn’t go so smoothly
Me: then you look at him like a steak back
Me: doesn’t warrant punching him
Her: Pull a knife out
Me: punishment doesn’t fit the crime
Her: I never thought of it that way
Me: welcome to the real world sugah
Her: I don’t like the real world. I prefer my mind where I can hypothetically beat up 150+ lb men
Me: as long as you keep your imaginary world rules to yourself, that’s fine
but when you apply that logic to the real world
you get suprised
this shit happens
She didn’t talk to me or initiate conversation for a while after that.
However I commented on a photo of hers today, that showcased a funny face just to poke fun, but I ended up starting an important conversation that I think all girls should read. Some of the initial conversation got deleted because she overstepped a line and got scared when I pushed back, so I am summarizing from memory.
It started out relatively innocent banter about her photo:
Me: Trollface approves this picture.
Her: You’re gonna get punched.
Me: You’ll probably punch my rock hard abs, sprain your wrist, and suffer a hearty bout of troll laughter.
Her: I’ll probably break your nose and suffer the pain that way.
Her: Rock hard abs? Who are you kidding?
Me: I’d probably headbutt your punch and break your knuckles like I have done others.
Her: Well that escalated quickly.
Me: You’re talking about punching me in the face. You gotta be careful how you talk about that. You say the wrong word in the wrong sentence and I go from trollface to warface.
Warface does not acknowledge rules, handicap itself against the weak, restrain itself in the interest of chivalry, or give pause to the weary.
Her: I got scared as soon as I read the first sentence.
She then messaged me to apologize for offending me, which kick started a whole conversation that’s been waiting to happen:
Her: Sorry I offended you Thomas
Me: Just gotta careful when you play with fire, Youmna
Her: Okay I’m sorry, I learned my lesson
Me: When you told me how you never thought about getting hit back as a girl
This is what happens when you act under the assumption that you don’t get hit back
I enjoy your company and your friendship
so in the grand scheme of things it’s not a big deal
you’re only encountering strong words
but I want you to know
the beneath the surface of every nice guy you meet and know
there is an underlying violence
different guys have differing levels of control of this violence
and different things can trigger it
Me: talking about fighting
even in play dances a subtle line around this
guys play fight all the time
the play dominance games
call each other bad names when it’s really endearing
Her: But why would they play fight if it could trigger a real fight?
Me: some guys even become best friends after a fight
Her: What? How?
Me: as a girl you don’t recognize the subtle rules
when two guys are wrestling
or play fighting
they don’t use all their strength
they learn this when they are younger
by playing with friends
usually you’ve got some male family role models
the minute you use all your strength
shit gets real
Her: Sort of like puppies
Me: you have precious little time to apologize
and explain you are only playing
before words go out the window
and the animal fight or flight response comes in
Her: I’m so happy I’m a girl
Me: the same dynamic is present in words
a battle of wits
“Shut up asshole, I’ll punch you in the teeth”
“Yeah right, you’d sprain your wrist”
Me: I can’t explain how it works exactly
Her: But what if I’m just teasing?
How does the line work there?
you were teasing when you said that I was gonna get punched
it doesn’t specify where
but when you mention breaking my nose and your hand hurts because you punched me so hard
it sounds like a fights coming
Me: immediately I came up with my response
of breaking your knuckles
in a sense
I was still playing
but it’s more of warning you that things are escalating
Her: Oh! Okay! I seeeee
Me: you back off and things smooth over
you don’t back off
and even though intellectually I know you are teasing
and my friend
are not a threat to me
or trying to be
you become one
and my thoughts turn from
“How to troll Youmna”
“How to break every bone in Youmna’s body so that she will be no threat in the present or the future”
Her:…well then, I need to watch myself
Her: Sorry Thomas
Me: most girls don’t understand how this dynamic works
Her: I promise I didn’t mean anything by it
Me: I accept your apology and I know you didn’t mean anything
your punishment is this lenghty explanation
I also explain this to you so you don’t accidentally trip me off
or some other guy
the worst part
is you are in America
where a lot of guys subdue this part of their nature
and they act girly
or have little male influence
or few male role models to teach them how to manage their nature
so that their nature doesn’t manage them
Me: in one sense
these guys are pussies
and hardly ever lash out
and put up little to no fight
but they still have the nature
it’s just harder to tell when it will come out
and they don’t know how to control it
look at the recent shooting
no male role model
I do not condone what happened
but I recognize it as fighting back
that’s how long his fuze was
Me: because he had no outlet for these increasing feelings
they manifested themselves in a murderous spree
Her: I guess just cause my friends here are so mellowed out, they never seem bothered by my teasing
Me: most of the time they aren’t
Her: But I’ll definitely watch what I’m saying so it doesn’t seem threatening
Me: but that’s the dangerous part
because you don’t see any repercussions
even small ones
you forget that there are and can be repercussions
Me: the simple thing I am going over with you
is the obvious stuff
I am not like most guys in America
I would say I have a shorter fuse
but I am more aware of it
and I can manage it to an extent
Her: So you respond better to hugs
I didn’t follow for a minute
as long as you get my point
Her: Yes I do
Me: we can defuse the serious atmosphere this talk has
Her: But matter is, I won’t know everyone the second I meet them. So I shouldn’t test their fuse by using harsh wording. Because someone could have a short fuse and not know how to control it
She then talked about her experience of getting hit in the face by a guy in a club. I asked her about that in another conversation. You’ll have to see part two of this post, because there’s too much in here for just one post.