I am going suspend progress on this blog for roughly a week to two weeks.
The simple story is that I am behind on school work. I am behind because I have been lazy and more focused on drinking, playing video games, and sleeping. Also, I don’t really care. It’s hard to make myself care these days. Also, my classes are pass fail.
I also have not worked out and not progressed almost any of the goals I of which I wrote in a previous post. In short – I’m a mess. Some people would question me at this point – “How did this happen?” or more specifically, “What’s wrong with enjoying yourself? You’ve been cooped up in military school for a year and a half for christ-sakes.”
I say that it is good to enjoy myself – but part of what I enjoy is the ability to excel, no matter how hard or how stupid something is. I enjoy being able to turn things in on time or even early. I enjoy being able to keep my word. Okay. Enjoy is the wrong word. I take pride in the fact. If I am not organized I feel like a mess and the quality of my life suffers as a result. Sure. It’s a lot of stress, a lot of probably unnecessary stress to deal with. A lot of it I impose on myself. It’s how I keep myself accountable and how I keep myself moving forward.
I feel like for all the time I’ve spent in military school and knowing how to do things the right way I’d be able to have the self-discipline to do all the must dos and should dos when I need to so that they do not accumulate and clutter up my life. Plus I cannot enjoy the wannda-dos as much when I have a hundred should dos at the back of my head, turning into must dos the more time goes by. I know I am not perfect. But I also know, that I can be more than what I have been these past 5 weeks.