An Interesting Graphic About Body Language

A reader emailed me enquiring if I’d be curious to see a graphic she’d help create, after reading this blog post of mine:


4 thoughts on “An Interesting Graphic About Body Language

  1. This is good, but for the womanizer in training leaning back (appearing bored) and tapping your feet (appearing even more fucking bored) are great ways of establishing how mad ill you are.

  2. Interesting, but I reject the categorization in right and wrong. Body language expresses your real sentiments towards someone. If you fake it, you run risk of overriding your intuition and connecting with people you do not want to be connecting with. In my opinion, all these body signs are ansolutely valid if the underlying emotions are present. I do not care to be an ’emotionally correct’ puppet. Look at me, I am so relaxed and open and positive and whatever! Sure, if it serves some Machiavellian purpose, it may be different, but I frankly can not think of any good reason to not just live myself.

    In fact, unless done with a purpose, this can backfire and make you the manipulated one: You seem so closed up! Be more open! Do I bore you?

    Well yeah, maybe sometimes someone actually bores you. Or frightens you. Or angers you. Why not show it and thus provide emotional feedback? That is more real than following some spreadsheet about the perfect idealized, but ultimately manufactured rapport.

    One more thing, about that chart saying that most that we perceive is visual: I have meditated in complete darkness a few times and it has quite connected me with all my other senses and shown me how much we tend to be distracted by visuals. Can only recommend trying that.

    • Also, do you see the contradiction between ‘Say what you mean’ and the instructions ‘Do this’ / ‘Don’t do this’? Double bind. I suspect the author of the spreadsheet was not even conscious of what she was writing, just wanted a catchy heading. And yet, when unresolved, these contradictions can manifest as cognitive dissonance,

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