I have been meaning to do this post for a while. The primary idea is to highlight my faults and weaknesses so I can no longer consciously avoid fixing or working around them without the mental pain of regret of actions not taken. In theory, once I acknowledge my weaknesses, I should have no choice but to work them out. Comments from the Three Bromigos, about what they’ve briefly seen of me are welcome. Maybe they’ll tell me I’m full of shit (not being honest enough with myself). On with the execution.
I’ll start off with what I know – I’ve been aware of game for a little over three years. It seems like forever to me (since the tail end of eleventh grade). I’ve been putting what I can into practice since then and have started to see some real results in the tail end of last year (October – December 2012).
In my first year I went from 0 to 0. My second year I went from 0 to 1. My third year I went from 1 to 4, with a funny story to boot (you’ll hear about it later). I’m progressing, though I’m not progressing very fast.
First the first year and second, I could say that I was just beginning to learn game and therefore not much should be expected. I suffered from paralysis by analysis. I didn’t do enough and over thought everything. The especially goes for the last oneitis I had (and those in the know would laugh at the pun). It is un-endingly ironic that she was the relationship I consciously used game in but didn’t not vindicate my new found knowledge.
In the third year, especially after it got worse with my oneitis, but better with my game, Unfortunately, my second year in university I found myself in the same pussy purgatory as the year before (which
may have probably exasperated my oneitis). Knowing this, I ventured into online game. I messaged hundreds of girls. Met up with probably six and fucked two of them. Not a bad ratio for online, with one of the girls being better looking in real life than in photos (which is all but an impossibility). I made do with this game because my environment didn’t allow me to do much else, other than a couple of controlled red pill experiments. Overtime it became very efficient, and I may or may not have a few pleasantries awaiting my return home due to my efforts.
However, in this new year, two months have gone by and nothing changed. Okay, well that’s a lie. I’m studying abroad in Germany. I’ve got a bunch of plans but have not made much progress on any of them. The online game well has dried up. And I’ve only been making excuses not to go out and day game.
It’s a repeat of highschool. While my strong ability to analyze allows me to self evaluate my past failures and learn from them and correct my behavior, it is probably my biggest weakness in a reversal of the usual tired cliché in that I spend a lot of time thinking, dreaming even, instead of going out and taking what I want.
I’ve no real experience cold approaching girls and I have never gone out with the sole intention of doing so. I’ve done a bunch of indirect approaches out of curiosity, but it is not my nature yet. I’ve missed opportunities because I couldn’t see them in the past and now I miss them because I have gotten off my ass to go take advantage of them. When I have something that may as well have fallen in my lap, I’m not completely “on” to take advantage of it. I think game, but I do not live and breathe it yet.
One weakness is night game. I can talk sure, but I can’t dance and clubs are my worst enemy. I don’t hate clubbing, but if it weren’t for my friends who love it, I would. Normally, I’d find friends who didn’t like clubbing, but these guys are my best friends and they’re all good with women. They add value to my life whether teaching me something about getting girls or being fun to hang out with. Currently I’m taking steps to improve my dancing ability through Salsa class and sometime my confidence in dancing should improve too. I’m way to self conscious about, even though I know that in the end, nobody fucking cares that I don’t know how to dance (okay the girls a bit).
When a girl doesn’t know how to dance, I can kill it. With the knowledge I can dance better than her (if only marginally), I set about teaching her. I did it with a Thai girl who I later dropped at a school dance. I taught her moves, taught her how to act on my commands for various moves, and even did a show for American girls who loved my dominance. If I had told the Thai girl to be my girlfriend that night, my will would have been done. My roommates later to told me to not have sex on the dance floor. The other factor may have been that I knew everybody at the school and they all gave me props because I have a reputation at the school that is getting truer every day. I guess you could say it is a home court advantage as I have always done well at these school dances.
Another weakness is speaking and congruity. I still don’t know who I am or who I want to be, in regards to what fits for getting with girls. With foreign girls, I am a confident, well traveled American, in good shape, who’ll be an officer. Most of the time. That is my most consistent persona I guess. I just can’t really decide on my style. I’m a big talker once I get comfortable with somebody and I am a mute with people I don’t know and am not comfortable around (or just getting to know). I have an admiration for men of few, but powerful and valuable words. Somehow I manage only the extremes, which my Brazilian friend says is too crazy sometimes and scares the girls away.
However, this does make it fun when a girl is trying to figure me out. If I can’t then she hasn’t got a snowball in hell’s chance of figuring me out. My favorite thing to do is have a girl guess where I’m from. They never guess that I’m from the U.S. and when I finally let it slip that I am, it seems that they think my parents are from elsewhere and highly suspicious of how American I am.
Well, it appears this turned into a bit of ranting stream of thought. It needed to be said and it has been, at least.
I suppose a short summary is in order:
1. I don’t know how to cold approach. I need to approach more girls.
2. I don’t know how to dance. I need to keep up with Salsa.
3. I think too much. Instead of wasting time thinking about past mistakes, I need to go make new ones and learn from those.