The 18, 40, 60 Rule

I am a completely different person now compared to who I was two years ago. And even then I was completely different person then compared to who I was two years further. I got to where I am because I know that I don’t have all the answers. When I ask for advice, I take it and use it as much as I can. I am where I am, because I’ve taken counsel of my father, brother, friends both in real life and on the manosphere (and I’ve been reading for two years longer than I’ve been blogging).

When I speak with people, they often guess that I am older than I really am. In person the guesses range between 5 to 7 years older than I really am. On the phone, sometimes the guesses get up to 19 years off base. I like to think this is because I have internalized advice I’ve sought for to the point where it is a part of me. Sometimes when I speak, I channel exact words my father once spoke to me. Other times, when I speak, I might as well being holding the Ace of Spades in my hands.

So let me share a piece of wisdom my father once share with me. It’s called the 18, 40, 60 Rule.


At 18 years old, you’re unsure of the world and as such care what other people think, and act accordingly.

At 40 years old, you decide that you don’t give a damn what everyone else thinks, you’re going to do what you want!

At 60 years old, you realize, no one was thinking about you anyway.


What part of the rule are you?


13 thoughts on “The 18, 40, 60 Rule

  1. I’ve already exceeded the rule. My parents made me realize that nobody was thinking about me anyway before I was 8, let alone 18.

  2. Always been very socially aware. Noticed that people don’t care about me around my early teens. Had stopped prioritizing socializing even before that. It was more of a “shrug and keep on walking” moment than the “profound realization” I’d been told to expect. Getting on with living life mattered more to me than other people.

      • Probably. The problem with working out how I would have, hypothetically, managed had I not become aware is that I was always the “odd” kid anyway. As a child this served me fairly well. I was bullied a bit over my teens when I became more introverted and stopped seeking interaction. At first it made me angry, then I just stopped bothering. I’m not sure whether, had I not learned any more about humans, I would have reintegrated eventually or whether I would have failed to integrate and been bullied more. And I have no clue how integrating or failing to integrate would have impacted on my studies and future life choices. I’ve experienced varying degrees of social inclusivity throughout my childhood and I’m not certain what would have happened if I hadn’t worked out that most humans are egoists/solipsists.

        If any of that makes sense.

  3. My narcissistic age is 32, with components of the 60. Actually, I wish I could believe that nobody gives a damn. That would be peaceful. No one to say ‘how can you do this to me’ when I make a personal choice they dislike.

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