Her Happiness Should Be Her Family

I recently read a disgusting article from Huffington Post:

‘I Left My Husband For Him, But He Didn’t Return The Favor’

The basic premise of the story is simple. Woman meets man. They marry. They have kids. Somehow she’s still not haaaaaaaappy.

A year ago, I was THAT mom — the one who seemed to have it all together, who had it all in some ways: two beautiful boys, a nice home, a good man and father to our kids. I cooked the meals and coordinated professional family photos, planned vacations, sent out Christmas cards, etc. I had a rigid schedule but made time to run and managed to be in decent physical shape.

But something was missing. In my marriage, I felt alone. Why wasn’t I happy?

I met my ex when I was seventeen. He was four years older than me and I was smitten. He had a job, a truck, and a house. He had it all together. We got along great so dating him while I was in college seemed like the right thing to do. And of course, after college the next step was marriage, right?

He was a hard worker and provided stability throughout the marriage. We had two beautiful boys and all seemed well — or was it?

After having our second child, I started to feel different. I hated the person I was and the wife and mother I had become. I did not feel good enough and I felt incredibly alone. I was unhappy.


[Last paragraph]

I am learning to love myself and I am becoming a better mother because of it. I am now 30 and a single mom of two awesome kids. Am I lonely? Yes. But that is ok. I have learned so much about myself over the last 12 months I now know I deserve happiness and will not settle for anything less.

Something I noticed in this article? Complete lack of consideration of the kids, besides the cursory mention to emphasize how weird it was that she wasn’t happy despite having it all.

I’ve met one woman who told me her life dream was to have a family. This is not the first time she’s impressed me. She’s certainly not trying to, and it’s certainly not that impressive. But I was impressed nonetheless, because she’s the only woman I’ve met who’s expressed that, at my age.

A woman’s happiness should be her family.

The more women there are whose happiness is such, the less women who would throw it all away there will be.


11 thoughts on “Her Happiness Should Be Her Family

  1. Pingback: Her Happiness Should Be Her Family | Neoreactive

    • From my experience, happiness – or at least satisfaction – is the result of following your gut. It has some caveats, but basically, there is no need to ‘earn’ it.

      • You could be right. I am honestly torn – because nobody owes you anything either. So if you want something, you gotta put the work in. For yourself, others, the Universe… who knows? You can’t just consume. That won’t work, and it seems what she wants is ultimately consumerism.

          • I recommend “Momo” by Michael Ende. It tells a beautiful story about the survival of human spirit and friends against an army of faceless time thieves that hook people up on consuming “stuff”.

        • Of course. But my point is that everything needs continual effort to achieve and sustain. Unless you enjoy the process, this stuff never stays with you forever. Thus, even if you are not feeling that euphoria of success most of the time, you are satisfied and in a natural flow. If you are not, you are – in one way or another – living an unsustainable life, as you will grow tired of sustaining it.

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