I was reflecting on things the other day in how I saw my life, or rather, how I organized were I to explain the story of my life. You know, I have my life in country A, B, C or life in various schools.
In high school and shortly afterward I organized my life in terms of women. My ninth grade year I was infatuated with Turkish Delight. I spent the first half of tenth grade getting over it, where I learned that I had absolutely no game whatsoever at a party and striking myself out with the Latvian. Then, in the second half I took the path of least resistance, and instead of dating the camera whore like I wanted to, I ended up letting her friend seduce me. She was also the first girl I ever kissed that I could remember. I’ll include more details soon. Then she dumped me but I had already been cheating on her with another girl, who I could have fucked (and got a Puerto Rican flag) but was too chicken shit to disobey my parents. Then in eleventh grade I flirted with an Austrian girl but never escalated, even though I should have because she would have advanced my skills considerably, then I failed with the Ecuadorian girl. Then in twelfth grade I escalated but did not fuck an Indian chick with a nice ass and then got into the longest relationship of my life.
I hope that was painful to read. It was painful to write. The point is, I defined my life by the women I was with, chasing, or pining after. Now I am starting to change my view-point.
I am thinking of my life in terms, year one, two, or three in the game. I think of it in terms of year one with the red pill. I the last three months of 2012 I fucked three women. They are but blips on the radar of my life. I think of myself as a work in progress and am starting think of my life in terms of what goal I am working on next. Or maybe I see my life as in different versions of myself, and I am undergoing a new transformation.
No longer are women central to my life.
That does not mean I that I will not seek to fuck as many women as I can or continually develop my game. It’s just that now I know my purpose. I know my dream and I am working on it a little bit every day. Women may or may not be a part of my dream. But my dream is no mere woman or gaggle of women. It is to rid the world of the blue pill and those who would propagate it upon an unwilling, unknowing population. It is to stop humanity from merely looking into the stars, and have him use his technology to be among them.
Even if I were to die on my path to greatness, I would not lament fate in my last breaths. While I would wish I had more time to do great things, I would be content in that I died on the path that I chose for myself. If I am to be a martyr, the idea I will die for is my own. Myself. Deus ex Walderschmidt.
There are those who would call me selfish. I would call them too foolish to realize they are wasting their lives at someone else’s behest.
To me, living the dream is accomplishing the dream.
Are you living the life you want?