So, I’m now on Thanksgiving furlough. I’ve got 6 more days of vacation and 6 more days of November.
So far, this month has seen mixed results.
Unfortunately, my efforts to achieve no fap this month have been fruitless. Even when I had sex, I still ached for release; and with the easy access of internet, I always got it. I’m not used to denying myself, I’ll say. It’s also hard when there are many moments where I’m alone and prone to relentless boredom.
There were two times that I did no-fap for one month. The first time was right after freshman year of university; I read the website “yourbrainonporn” and got scared. I didn’t beat it for a month I was so worried about what I’d done to myself. For the first week, I got hornier. It became harder to ignore; the second week increased those feelings. But by the third week, I had largely forgotten about it. Sure, I woke up with a hard-on most mornings and seemed very aware of the opposite sex’s features in conversation, but it was largely in the back of my mind. Ditto for the fourth week. Then I was in Germany and went to a Thai massage parlour my first week in Berlin. I didn’t realize what kind of place it was (I really did only want a massage). And next thing I knew I was getting a hand job from the masseuse. She took a long time and I actually laughed at her (it went on for ten minutes where I was hard but nothing else happened). Finally, I finished myself a shot a load so heavy it was heard around the world (and got on her face a little).
The second time I was at LDAC at Ft. Knox. Why didn’t I diddle myself for a month there? It was simple – I was so damn busy that I didn’t think about it or even have the time. When I saw my girlfriend on my first day back, though – I was quite voracious. She gave me quite the warm welcome, which I still remember in exquisite detail.
On the plus side, my goal for writing at least two articles a week has succeeded and accomplished the main goal my #NoNothingNovember; to get writing again. Yes, there were some weeks where I barely cranked out two posts, maybe one was a progress report on #NoNothingNovember itself and the other was shitty and short. It doesn’t matter now. I’m writing again and the mindset that comes with it is nearly back. I’m starting think about the articles I could write with conversations with my friends and my father.
In the end, I’m on my way to complete one out of two goals I had for this month and I am completely happy with it.