All’s Fair in Love and War

I was going through some old files, and found this. A recording of an argument I had with an ex-girlfriend of mine, my senior year of high school  This was two years after she broke up with me and regretted it. I enjoyed this argument every second of it and really didn’t care how she felt, only that I was taking the piss and having a laugh. I also was working on one of her friends and knew that she knew about it.


Ex Girlfriend (X): u need to stop talking to my friends

Me: What?

X: u dont need to have conversations with my friends

dont talk to [redacted]

dont talk to [redacted]

dont talk to [redacted]

dont talk to any of them

if u have class with them sure say hi but i dont need to see you haveing conversations with jenn or anyone else

Me: hahaha

Are you serious?!

X: why do u need to be talking to the,!

Me: it’s not about need [Ex Girlfriend]

I talk to them because they’re fun to talk to

you’re jealous because you see me enjoying myself with other girls

if this bothers you

X: they dont want u to talk to them!

Me: then they can tell me that themselvess

X: they get that i dont want u talking to

X: they get that i dont want u talking to the,

Me: they’re big girls, they can tell me that if they want to

X: well can u not take it from me

girls dont talk to their best friends ex who made their life a living hell

Me: no

I don’t go out of my way to talk to them

and I will not go out of my way not to talk to them

X: they it shouldent be so hard for u to not talk to them is it/

X: they it shouldent be so hard for u to not talk to them is it/

im not saying that u completely ignore them obviously if their in the same class its only polite to say hi but that
s it

Me: And I am saying that I will continue to do as I please.

They are not just your friends, they are my friends as well

X: no their not stop talking to them

Me: It is their decision whether I am remain their friend, not yours

X: when did u become such a asshole

before we went out even sometimes when we were together

u were the most genuine guy i had ever met

Me: when did you become so controlling?

were you always this way?

X: this isent controlling

its not a big request that the guy i was in love with and then broke my heart to stop talking to my friends

Me: con·trolled, con·trol·ling, con·trols
1. To exercise authoritative or dominating influence over; direct. See Synonyms at conduct.
2. To adjust to a requirement; regulate: controlled trading on the stock market; controls the flow of water.
3. To hold in restraint; check: struggled to control my temper.
4. To reduce or prevent the spread of: control insects; controlled the fire by dousing it with water.

you are being controlling

X: It such a simple request!

Me: you are trying to control my interactions with your friends

X: exactly MY friends not yours!

Me: wait, so before I even met you, [redacted] was no friend of mine?

she was your friend even though I didn’t know it at the time?

are you fucking serious?

you are wasting my time with this stupid request because it makes you feel better?

And you won’t even admit that?!

X: jsut because u talked in pe together does not make u friends

X: jsut because u talked in pe together does not make u friends

do u honestly think i want to talk to u

i dont want u talking to me friends because then it may be a chance that i have to see u

Me: Friend:

1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
3. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
4. One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement: friends of the clean air movement.
5. Friend A member of the Society of Friends; a Quaker.

oh no!

you may have to see me even though you don’t want to?

good heavens girl, you can move your freakin’ self

You used to be so much better than this

I saddens me to see what you have sunk to

X: so much better

u fucking did this to me

do u not get im fucking in love with u

and u dident even have the balls to break up with me u made me do it

and then u kiss me when im just getting over u*

is that fair?!

Me: All’s fair in love and war

*To clarify, this was during eleventh grade. I was working on a different girl and my ex that’re you’ve just read of, knew of that at the time. Still, I had not made any real progress in kissing the new girl, so I texted my ex to meet me at the staircase outside to hook up during exam week. When she got there I just kissed her.

“Is that all? That’s what you wanted?”


“I’m not like this.”

“Okay. Bye.”

She later spoke to me saying that she didn’t mind those kind of surprises but just didn’t want to be a booty call. I laughed about that for a while.