“Don’t follow me, because I am lost too…”

I remember reading something about Taoism and how Eastern Philosophers were different to Western Philosophers in that the main apparent difference between the two was their attitude towards their students – namely – Western ones exhorted their students to follow their examples. Eastern Philosophers, on the other hand, often told their students “don’t follow me”. *

I believe the point of the second was that in the end, no student truly was the teacher. Following exact methods would therefore not produce the same results. Instead, students were encouraged to own their newfound knowledge and make it their own. What do I mean by that?

I mean that at some point the student has to take off the training wheels and become an autodidact. At some point, they have to come up with their own ideas. Using someone else’s can only take you so far. Let this not be an attack against using someone else’s ideas, however. Newton himself, the father of modern calculus (along with another, less well known fellow), once said:

If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.

If you take the metaphor of a house, I encourage you to build upon a foundation that those who came before you have laid down. In time, your work, combined with your predecessors, will be a new foundation, upon which the next generation will build.


Don’t follow me.


* I could have remembered wrongly. I remain the right to be completely full of shit at any time. You have the right to remind me.

A Fatherhood Hypothetical

At this point in my life, I can’t help but evaluate potential dates for potential wife and mother qualities. I also can’t help but imagine what kind of family life I’d have, and how I’d want to raise my kids. Most of my thoughts are inspired by my own family life, especially when I was a lot younger. Hypothetically, we’ll assume I have four kids; two boys and two girls. We’ll also assume that I picked my wife and mother of my children well, as ideally, not only am I am the man I hope my sons to be, but my wife should be the woman I hope my daughters to be.

So, without further ado, and in no particular order – some of my thoughts:


Bedtime. I know how crucial it is to get proper sleep and the harmful effect lack of sleep can have on a person. I remember seeing well rested cadets at the beginning of their four years change a lot at the end of one year. I saw even more change in my peers as they graduated. Lack of sleep kills, slowly.

So as my children go from diapers to being little children to teenagers, I’d set them a constant bed time and a constant wake up time. I’m not sure whether I’d set them up for 8 or 10 hours, but 8 hours would be the minimum. They’d be encouraged (my daughters especially) to not be night owls. Should they find themselves as teenagers with a boatload of work, I’d see myself as having been effective in my guidance, should they elect to go to bed earlier and to wake up earlier to get their work done, instead of the opposite. While my children will be expected to accept their bed time because I said so, I’ll explain at some point I find appropriate why 8 hours of sleep is important. And how it will allow my boys to grow stronger than Superman and allow my daughters to grow pretty enough to marry Prince Charming.

Then, when it’s Christmas Eve and they can’t sleep because they’re so excited – I might have a chance that they’ll actually sleep in, too tired to wake up after going to bed several hours later than normal.


Ideally, I’d want to have both regular family breakfast and dinner. Before I lived overseas, breakfast was slightly irregular, but we always had family dinner. When I moved overseas, we had family breakfast about as much as we had family dinner. I’ll focus on family dinner.

I believe it’s important to have consistency in the household and that means that dinner should be at the same time every night. Something around 1700hrs every night – maybe a little later (1800hrs) depending on my work. Dinner will be home cooked every time – no microwave crap. I’d make the effort to buy the most healthy food possible (organic, paleo) even if it costs a little extra. If I had the land, I’d even invest in growing our own crops and raising chickens (maybe a cow) that my children would have an understanding and appreciation of where their food comes from and what is in it.

Cast iron skillets. Grill (charcoal/propane). Full fat butter. Coconut oil.

Proper manners at the table will be taught and reinforced.

Family dinner will be a time to catch up on everyone’s day, to keep tabs on my children, and generally talk about things they find interesting or I think important to talk about.

Family Time:

When my family lived in England, we used to play scrabble once a week. I’d rarely win but I always had fun. Before my family had that practice, we’d watch many movies at home together. Often, my father would pause the movie right before a critical moment and ask me what I would do or what should be done. Other times, he’d pause the movie and ask me what happened and why. Almost every movie there was a lesson. Such lessons often made me enjoy the movie a lot more. Usually there was a movie that stuck with the family, that led to inside jokes for us.

“Stop rhyming! I mean it!”

“Anybody wanna peanut?”


“Oh Master Robin!…..You’ve lost your arms in battle! But you grew some nice boobs”

“Blinkin, I’m over here.”

So one day a week, presumably Sundays, we’ll have a family game night. We’ll play checkers, risk, monopoly, life, cards, and chess. Each of those games takes time to learn to play and to play well. Each of those games can teach you something (especially chess). I’ll let my kids win sometimes but not too often. Provided that they learn quickly, I expect they’ll be better at these games than I will be before they leave the house. We’ll watch movies. Probably old ones. We’ll make it a game to see what lesson will I come up with next. Little will my children know, each lesson I will know because my Father already taught me.

I’ll take trips where it will be just us boys. I expect my wife to do similar things with our daughters.


Chores will be centered around traditional roles and used to cement good habits and teach skills. At first they’ll be simple, but as my children grow older they’ll be taught more and have more expected of them.

My daughters will be expected to set the table and clear the table every day. Their mother will teach them how to sew (and help mend the clothes in the family). She’ll teach them how to cook and other homemaking skills, such as ironing, folding clothes, and doing laundry. She’ll teach my boys to cook also.

My boys will be taught how to cook steak by me, how to cut firewood, how to work on cars, and various other handyman type things around the house that I know. They’ll take out the trash every week

Once a month, once I’m satisfied that no one will burn the house down in the process, I’ll have each of my children cook family dinner. They’ll pick the food, the ingredients, and at first, may enlist help. But by the time they’re around 16, I expect that they’ll be able to do it all  by themselves if need be.

My boys of course will know how to iron, fold clothes, do laundry as well – but it won’t be their main chores. The need to know how to maintain their nice clothes, naturally.

The Birds and The Bees:

I won’t wait for my children to discover porn or learn half-truths at best and outright lies at worst during sex ed (assuming I even let them into the schooling system). At some point, I’ll have this conversation with my boys. At some point, I expect my wife to have this conversation with my girls.

In a general sense, I’d try to teach my boys some lessons on how to deal with girls. More than focus on things they should do, I’d focus on telling them things not to do. I’d be open with examples from my life, but generally would focus on having them realize the importance of learning from their mistakes and enjoying the whole process along the way. I’d tell’em I’d kick their asses if they get any girls pregnant and let them know about different methods of birth control. I’d encourage them to get enough experience to figure out what they need to about girls, that they’ll be appropriately discriminating when picking their brides. I’ll tell them I expect lots of grandchildren.

In a general sense, I’d let my wife teach my girls lessons since she speaks their language, and probably knows what she is doing since she married me. I’d encourage my daughters to get married to a quality man, who can support them and their children, and to keep themselves chaste until then. I’d do what I can to help them maximize their looks and their personalities accordingly.I’d let their mother figure out how to explain the ‘violence’ she’d exact on any of them if they got pregnant without being married. I’d figuratively beat it into them yearly that if they wish to marry ‘prince charming’, they must themselves be a woman he’d marry. I’ll tell them I expect lots of grandchildren.


I hope that at some point, my family will have a family gathering at least once a year. My children will know what their family is made of. They will know their cousins. They will know my siblings, their aunts and uncles. And most importantly, they will know my parents. I didn’t just get to where I was without them, and I’ll make sure my children never forget that. I’ll do that because it honors my parents and because my grandparents, were responsible in a large part, for my happy childhood.

General Family Philosophy (brief, very beginning thoughts):

My family is one that I’m proud to be a part of. Most of the members of my family are really smart, strong, or have other talent. We’ve got good genes and good people. I intend for my children to know that and believe. I would not go so far as to give my children superiority complexes – I just want them to know where they came from and be unapologetically proud of it. That said – I’ll temper that with the idea that I think blood is important. I don’t intend to follow ancient royals who had rampant inbreeding. I do want my children to consider the health of future wives and husbands, and the quality of said future spouses’ families.

One of the tenets my father stressed is that we’re a team. So I’d be mad at one of my son’s if he didn’t back my other son up in a fight. Same with my daughters (making sure they’re included in groups and have social status). I expect each child to help one another grow, not to tear each other down. Competition between each other is good to an extent, but the ultimate goal is to all succeed together.

Family is different. Regardless of internal discipline, when it comes down to my children and the outside world, they will know I will love them and be on their side, always.


Random Thoughts

A friend once wrote:

“I don’t know about you, but I learn more from 1 mistake than from 100 successes”.

That sounds about right. I’d add that when I have a success, I learn what works, but not why it works (and not always specifically what exact thing worked). When I make a mistake, I generally learn exactly what didn’t work, and why soon after.

The same friend also said:

“Love is going to hurt you. Deal with it through music. And be thankful when you do.”

I’d add – if you can’t play an instrument, listen to all the sad songs you can handle. Eventually the pain will go and the phase will pass. You’ll move on and people will forget. Bad poetry and drunk text messages, however, are forever.


Even when it seems that your world is crumbling all around you – try not to lose all hope. Take the victories when you can, no matter how small. You’ll be surprised by how many chances you get in this life if you refuse to accept defeat (or can’t).


5 Saddest Songs I appreciate?

  1. On a Valentine’s Day – Linkin Park
  2. In Pieces – Linkin Park
  3. Mad World – Gary Jules
  4. Whiskey Lullaby – Bradley Paisley, Alison Krauss
  5. Comptine D’un Autre  été L’après-midi – Yann Tiersen


10 of Life’s Simplest Pleasures?

In no particular order:

1. That almost euphoric relief after a much needed pee.
2. Finding something to laugh about with my best friend
3. Spending time with my Dad or my mother
4. Ice cold Yuengling, right after work, when I’ve no more obligations for the day
5. A full eight hours of sleep.
6. Everything leading up to the first kiss.
7. Being recognized for a quality I’ve been trying to improve for years.
8. Seeing the enjoyment in the eyes of someone who’s tasted my well cooked, marinated steak.
9. A book enthralling enough that you leave this world as soon as you read but one sentence.
10. Reading people correctly.


A Brief Interlude

I haven’t posted this past week because exams start on Saturday, 13. December and it’s time I get busy studying for them.

Also – most recently – I was dealing with an incident from the weekend before Thanksgiving. I had hoped to escape the weekend unscathed – but unfortunately, the repercussions followed me back from furlough. For my actions, and due to my inability to argue a key point without impugning my honor, I was ‘awarded’ the highest punishment this fine Institution has to offer.


A fitting end for an unrepentantly miserable semester.


Random Thoughts #3

Before I take the time to write a proper wrap of my #NoNothingNovember, I’ll include this brief thought I had from a conversation I had with my best friend last night.

As you may recall, I once wrote a post on Sisyphus and the human condition.

“…to be human is to struggle. Life is struggle”

When I was talking with my buddy, conversation turned to that theme again and I said:

Humans need a mountain to climb. For men, that mountain is accomplishment, accolades, and other achievements. For women, the mountain is you. Don’t give them a peak.

To clarify what I mean you could go back and refer to what I said further, in my Sisyphus post:

Inertia is death…

Why would a man wish for a neverending mountain? Because…at the top of the mountain, it’s nothing but downhill from there.

But there’s a man who’s said it better than I – for, though he uses more words saying it in the long form, a certain nuance is made apparent; and that nuance might make all the difference. But I want you to focus on a specific part – which commenter Earl pontificates upon.

Ace - P23-02-2014 Comment by Earl

After reading his post for the third or fourth time; after my thoughts writing this post and my thoughts reading his post coalesced; I posted this comment.

Upon further reflection, I think the issue is that one cannot be “satisfied” with a women in a relationship, especially if she is “the one”. For the day you are satisfied is the day she is not.

Satisfaction is the peak from which she can only see downhill.

The higher value the man, the steeper the climb.

The less secure the man, the steep the descent.

And the more “game” a man has, the steeper he can make the ascent, the more gradual he can make the descent, and perhaps he might be able to convince her to make one more trip back up, for a better look at the view if he finds her on the way back down.

I don’t think I have it completely correct. I might not even be close. I am, however, getting closer.


This concept and the one explored in this post are related. But how and to what extent?

English translation of the lyrics.

The Death of Another Great


Let us mourn the death of a another great man.

An excerpt:

Belfield, originally from Utica, spent 16 years in the Army, including a stint in Europe where he fought in the Battle of the Bulge. He also served during the Korean War when he worked as a recruiter in Syracuse. Belfield told the newspaper last year that he never regretted serving in the military.

“It was a good thing to do,” he said in the interview on Veterans Day last year. “I loved it because it was my country. It’s still my country.”

Ailing health prevented Belfield from participating in October’s Honor Flight to Washington, D.C., to see the war memorials. Instead, local veterans presented Belfield with an Honor Flight T-shirt in his room at the nursing home, according to Albany’s WTEN-TV, which reported his death Wednesday.

Barbara Bradt, activities director at the nursing home, said Belfield had “such a spark for life.”

“He taught me no matter how old you are, you keep going, you put a smile on your face and you just appreciate every day because that’s what he did.” She said.

Belfield and his wife, Lillian, have six children, 18 grandchildren and 28 great-grandchildren.

If only men like him were survived by more children and more great grandchildren.


Reflections on Sisyphus

One moment when I was alone with my thoughts, I was reflecting on the story of Sisyphus.


For those unfamiliar with the story a basic summary is here. That article has its own interpretations.

In reflection, I thought of my own. Namely, Sisyphus’s Task represents the human condition; humanity’s greatest fear and greatest desire. The fear is that all one’s efforts are fruitless – that one’s accomplishments and actions don’t matter. Such anguish resides in the eyes of those who see the fruits of their efforts crumble right before them, into nothingness. Yet, at the same time, the neverending sisyphyean task is human’s ultimate desire. Why? Because to be human is to struggle. Life is struggle. Inertia is death. I believe that mankind works best when he has a mountain to climb. Sisyphus resembles the neverending mountain, a journey without end. When he rolls that rock up the hill day after day, week after week, he has a purpose in life.

Why would a man wish for a neverending mountain? Because…at the top of the mountain, it’s nothing but downhill from there.


Your Daily Game and a Small Reflection

Was at the her prom the other night – suited up. Danced with her and walked around despite not paying for a ticket to the event. I decided I wanted to get our picture drawn. While waiting in line, shortly before it was our turn, she wanted to dance with her friends.

“I’m want to dance with my friends, I’ll be back, okay?”


“Hold my purse?”

[Quick shake of the head]

“Okay, no!”….[walks away smiling]

How about that. It wasn’t the end of the world.

Four years ago – I think I would have reached for the bag without a second thought.


We Watch Too Many Goddamn Movies

I was talking with my roommate the other day about how we both miss Berlin. We got to the subject of watching German TV, where I mentioned Tat Ort, a show the Germans love to watch on Sundays.

Apparently we both like the same German TV shows. He remarked that they were predictable.

Yeah, it’s because we watch too many goddamn movies“, I said. “Surprise! Another plot twist I did not see coming! Oh my…the foreboding character turned out to be the evil one!

And then it hit me. This is how older people see life. They’ve seen all the movies, tv shows, an have got the t-shirt[s] for it. They’ve seen nearly all the plot twists.

When my friend recounted how he told his grandfather that he wanted to study abroad in Germany again, his grandfather replied, “You can’t bullshit a bullshittter“. They both knew that my friend wanted to see a special lady again.

When i told my father, last year May, that I didn’t want to go to Munich to see the Zugspitz, he told me a while after about a phone conversation he had with my brother over the phone.

Summed up in one sentence?

It’s either girls or money.

He was 100 percent right.

As I get further along in my journey, through the accumulation of my own experineces and hearing the experiences of others, I’m starting to see more plot twists coming than I’d ever think I could. Nowadays I’m most right when I venture a guess. And the one plot twist I never saw coming is that sometimes I wish I wasn’t.


Think About the Implications

I was reading comments on the post I made about Bullet Proof Industries, a private paramilitary security organization.

I believe the points Leap of Beta & I made in the comment section and the reply to it should have been in the original post. But hey – that’s why I’m in the manosphere – to talk to everybody.

Leap of Beta commented first:

I don’t ever understand why people think companies don’t take protests seriously. Money and profits are far more serious to them than the cute little protest is to protesters’ “Ideals”.

If you aren’t willing to bleed for something, you likely shouldn’t be doing an open protest. Or take great, GREAT pains to make it clear you are both respectful and non-violent, to avoid this kind of escalation. Otherwise, find other ways to make your opinion known.

I replied in kind:

The[y] think “the man” no longer exists after the “victories” won from the civil rights movement of the 60s and the hippy movement shortly after (or alternatively, that the emperor has no clothes).

None of the parents of these protesters bothered to educate them on some of the harsh realities of life.


Aside from that, what is interesting to me, is how companies take it upon themselves to hire their own paramilitaries for defense instead of relying on the police and the state. I have no doubt that the paramilitary service is not cheap and the companies would not pay for their services if it was [not] worth the cost.

If you’ve ever played Metal Gear Solid games or perhaps know of any of the history of Russia after the fall of communism – you may see a pattern about to develop. Namely – there will be more and more companies to provide services such as Bulletproof Securities as more people realize the profitability of the work. As their services turn cheaper as more firms enter the market, their pricing may enter the price range of certain communities and enclaves, in lieu of relying on the police this company.

The only question is how far will this pattern go? Will neighborhoods use companies such as these to protect themselves from criminals in the government too?

Leap of Beta finished with:

I’m away from my computer to find the article but there are many companies doing that, neighborhood watches getting more armed, and some non-profits that are oriented around helping lower middle class get fire arms, trained, and concealed carries to defend their families from the lower class

Take a while to think about the implications of the conclusions of this conversation.