On Equality

I don’t believe in equality and neither do you. No one does.

It’s never existed and never will.

Inequality is encoded within rules and laws. For example, at my university, there’s a fitness test that all cadets must take.

For men, the min/max standards are:      For women the min/max standards are:

5/20 pull ups in two minutes                         1/8 pull up in two minutes

60/92 sit ups in two minutes                         60/92 sit ups in two minutes

12:30/08:30 for a 1.5 mile run                      14:20/09:26 for a 1.5 mile run

A representative from my university can shout until he’s blue in the face that his institution believes in equality, but the rules speak for themselves.

During a game, a football coach might smack the ass of one of his players, “Get out there!” and no one will bat an eye. But if a football coach had female players an did the same act, most people would view it as sexual harassment.

In the realm of dating, women tend to be very picky as to choosing suitors for courtship. Another way to put that, is that they are very discriminating. An odd quirk here, a badly timed joke there, and one’s chances to court can be thrown into the wind. Were we all equal, there would be no courtship and no need to discriminate between mates. There would just be the loud moaning sounds of making new life ringing in the streets.

In the realm of relationships, were there equality, there would not exist a distinction between friends such as acquaintance, friend, good friend, fair-weather friend, or best friend. They’d all be one and the same.

In the realm of food, were there equality, all foodstuffs would be equally as healthy. The world would grind to a halt as people stuffed their faces with as much ice cream, doritos, and cheetos as humanly possible. All those women who were sad and comfort ate would be as skinny as the women who watched what they ate and exercised.

Treating things equally is a recipe for a mess if not outright disaster.

If you try to nail a few pieces of plywood together using nails and a backscratcher, the job will take a couple of years to finish, if it ever does at all. If you try to scratch someone’s back with a hammer, at best they’ll have several noticeable scratches on their back. At worse, they’ll have a broken back and you’ll have one less friend.