I drink because it slows me down.
My head moves fast – too fast sometimes to translate the connections the electrical synapses make into words. My life has moved quite fast also. Living in one country and then the other. One house, one school, and then another. Making new friends and just as soon saying good bye. Life comes at you fast.
And alcohol is my way of slowing it down.
I won’t make claim that I’m genius because I drink – but it’s true. I can’t really turn my brain off.
I’ve learned I can focus it on things. And sometimes it focuses on things without me telling it.
Since being in the game, I’ve been able to slow it down without the aid of my old friend, drink. In paradoxical way, I think slower by thinking faster. How does that work you may ask?
As I’ve gained experience, I know many answers to questions that used to stump me; what to do, how, and when. So instead of having a million questions – I quickly answer most of them and end up with a few. The end result? I have less to think about.
Testament to my advancement – I’m starting to enter territory where when I answer certain questions, I’m right….and I find I don’t always like it.
Wald
Thanks buddy for the linkage.
No problem, brother.
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I hear ya’.
That’s why I kept on drinking. As I grew, and further developed my views on existence, internalized what was useful, and became comfortable with them, my attitude towards drinking changed. I go for a drink with a positive mindset, one of “fun”, but of course, there are some off days.
One idea that I’ve been mulling over a lot is that of “finding peace with oneself”. It ties in with my “existentialist” (boo, complicated words…) stance.
Could you elaborate on your “existentialist” stance in simple terms? I’ve heard that term thrown around a lot lately, but I don’t completely understand what it means.
I think it pertains to questions regarding existence, at least that is how I use it. My existential moments are those of fighting demons, wanting to see the world burn, floating in a black void or contemplating death.
Everyone has their reasons.
Wald