My girlfriend and I have about six rules we try our best to follow (more successfully now than before).
- When arguing – no swearing or name calling
- No bringing up old arguments
- Unless we agree to do so
- Tell the other person before we go to bed if we’re angry.
- If we get far apart, we must come back close together (read: make up sex)
- No breaking up over a petty argument. If we break up, it’s serious.
She came up will rule #6 herself after she had a conversation with a co-worker who got into an argument with her boyfriend, broke up with him, cried about it, and got back together with him all in the same hour.
The only rules we’ve had trouble following?
#4 and #5
We tend to get silent when we’re mad and I don’t see her that much because she’s a three hour drive from my university.
She’s been my longest relationship so far and I suspect these rules may have something to do with it.
~Wald
Pingback: Some Rules ‘We’ Made | Manosphere.com
Pingback: Some Rules ‘We’ Made | Neoreactive
That sounds reasonable. How did you come up with those and how well did it go? Would you amend them today?
Thoughts that came in my head over the years I guess.
Rule 1: I don’t tolerate disrespect and controlling the language used can curb that nearly entirely.
Rule 2: Old arguments are annoying as hell.
Rule 3: Can’t outlaw things absolutely
Rule 4: She made this up – probably because she likes to know how I’m feeling at all times. Makes sense. Helpful, for both of us, actually.
Rule 5: Who doesn’t like a rule instituting make up sex? Also – notice that when women are angry at lovers – they get touchy. Don’t want to be touched. What might normally be a loving caress is now a grope. This rule circumvents that (and prevents it from eroding the relationship).
Rule 6: Another good rule. Allows for security in a relationship because you know one bad argument or two will not end the relationship or put you on a roller coaster of emotions because think it might end.
Wald
P.S. We ended up breaking up because of the distance. Still – it was my longest relationship at nearly 1.5 years.
I see.
You know, a guy I like to read on the internet says that he likes to make women angry, to transform it into desire. No idea how well and when that works, but it may be worth pondering.
That’s certainly an interesting thought.
Supposedly, as long as you make them feel something – you’re doing alright.
Wald