Earlier this week, I found out that an old friend of mine, Mitch Sturges, committed suicide.
I hadn’t had a good conversation with him since April last year, and now I feel terrible about that. I didn’t leave things on a good note, and now I’ll never have the chance to.
The least I can do, however, is tell a piece of Mitch’s story, and why he is important to me.
Four years ago, first serious girlfriend, who I’d been dating long distance for a little over a year, broke up with me right before my final exams. I was devastated. Morose. Hopeless. This was to be the true beginning of my journey. Had I not had help, I shudder to think of what might have been.
Mitch, was that help. I’d been reading his blog, Veritas Aculeus – The Truth Hurts, for months in 2011. After reading a post of his about his dealings with a submissive lawyeress, I emailed him asking for advice about that. He was Simon Rierdon, then.
A while later – I emailed him asking for help, after my girlfriend had broken up with me. I was inconsolable. My parents offered their sympathies and some help, but there was only so much they could do. I didn’t know where else to which I could turn.
Between May 2012 and December 2012, Mitch and I exchanged at least 72 emails, most of which I sent.
He took me under his wing, answered all of my questions. Messed with my head a little. Called me on the phone, took my calls. We’d often have phone conversations that would last three hours or more. Eventually, he switched over from Veritas Aculeus to Apocalypse Cometh and remade himself as Bill Powell. He would comment on my fledgling blog, in various names, offering encouragement and advice. He would link to my blog, sending views to my way. He’d talk about posts he liked, I’d talk about posts of his I liked. Hell, he even offered my blog legal protection. The copyright of my blog, the “footer”, which I need to update, was his own:
Talking to him gave me a sense of hope I had lost, and made me feel like I was not crazy. That was a feeling I hadn’t felt in a long time.
He introduced me to a lot of different blogs and got me in touch with a variety of different people, Dr. Illusion, Matt Forney, being one of them. He encouraged me to reach out to many more, as I had been doing before.
There’s another thing I must give him credit for. My [relatively] newfound love and respect for my parents.
In December 2012, we had a long phone call where Mitch told about his father passing and how he regretted not telling his old man he loved him a little more. He instructed that I ask my parents if they loved me and make sure they knew I loved them. Despite the fact that my family is not big on emotions, I took his advice. After the phone call, I promptly asked my mother.
“Mom, do you love me?”
“Of course I do, Son.”
“I love you, Mom.”
“I love you too.”
I then tracked my Father down and asked him.
“Dad, do you love me?
“Is it not obvious, after all your mother and I have done for you?”*
“I guess, I just haven’t heard you say it in a while.”
“I used to say it a lot, when you were younger. You don’t remember.”
“I love you, Dad.”
“I love you too, Son.”
Given that I was watching a movie with my parents when I took the call from Mitch (which lasted for about 1 hour), I was unsurprised with my Father’s response. Though it may look a little unreasonable or uncaring, it was not. I’ll have to tell you another story, some other time about my Father to explain the asterisk.
Since then, I’ve learned more about my parents. Talked with them more. Talked with them about my blog and various posts I’ve written. My love and respect for that has only grown since then. I give credit to Mitch for helping me take the first step on that path. Now, I am free to say, that were either of my parents to die tomorrow, morose and devastated as I’d be, I’d not sit in a corner, with a bottle of Jack and regrets as my only company. It’s a comfort, especially now, as my Mother recovers still from a stroke that nearly took her from me over a year ago.
Mitch, in his own way was one of the forefathers to the manosphere. In his own way, he was a like a father to me. He was the first one to reach out to me. He was the first one there for me, at times when no one else was. I miss him already. I only wish that the last thing I said to him, was the thanks he deserved.
I love you, Mitch. Raise hell, up there.
Requiesce in pace, frater.
~Wald
Requiescat in pacem! What else should I say. Peace.
From: http://freedompowerandwealth.com
Thank you for your kind words.
Wald
Mitch came down here a couple of years back and we had a fine visit. He also helped me massively a couple of times. He was a cool cat. Like you, I hadn’t spoken to him in over a year. I tried a few months ago but his number had changed. He’ll be missed in the Manosphere.
Thanks for commenting, Private Man.
I remember him telling me a couple years back about coming down your way to visit and help out. I’ve found out more and more that he’s helped out a lot of people, and has been responsible for a lot of work behind the scenes.
Wald
Beautiful article.
Thanks, Tom. Truly.
Wald
Thanks for this post-you are the first to do so on Unka Mitch. He had a positive affect on our lives; we found him when we discovered the red pill, manosphere, and Apocalypse Cometh.
It totally changed our outlook. It was unbelievably refreshing to find out there were others out there who
were like us! We became instant friends who felt we’d known each other all our lives. We first met him in person at the meetup in Las Vegas we instantly knew him and Dr. Illusion even though we had no idea what they looked like. They claimed they spotted us in the crowd the same way.
We also met with him at Mardi Gras and at a small meet in Tunica. I would talk to him for hours on the phone; we called each other brother. Mitch was one of a kind and is sorely missed-I’m still trying to fully accept the loss. The last time I spoke to him (end of February this year) he was telling me about how he was planning to buy a travel trailer to haul behind his truck and just spend the next year driving around the country with his dog Sophia and visiting as many of his friends as possible. I was looking forward to that. When I heard he was dead, I tried to call him but his phone was already cancelled; so was his blog. Rest In Peace brother, I love and miss you.
-Doktor Bill & Tempest
Thanks for sharing, Bill and Tempest.
All the best to you both.
Wald
I guess it’s time to add me to those that hadn’t contacted Uncle Mitch in a while. I had his number but never wanted to be “that guy” who just texted randomly and doubly so for someone I’d never met in person. That was scheduled to change this summer as I was heading out on a now canceled (largely because of this) roadtrip. Promises of the destruction of a couple bottles of bourbon were made in January or so before I deleted the FB account.
I appreciated his insight and way of looking at things. I really wanted to sit down and just listen to him for a couple of days and maybe even drag him along through Florida on the way to Texas. You’re not the only one, Wald, who regrets not spending more time speaking with the man.
It’s hard to explain the lump in your throat for someone you’ve never met in person. Mine’s been there a few days now.
Thank you for your comment and for sharing, Sean.
My lump’s somewhat lessened after writing this post – but rereading my post playing the song really brought all the pent up thoughts and feelings to the forefront for a time.
Wald
It’s a shame that “Unka Mitch” despised his mother and 2 sisters. He constantly told each of us to get the fuck out of his lives and do not ever contact him again. Everything he said and blogged about the 3 of us are absolute lies. He wanted you all to think he was awesome, while in person he was the devil himself. We never asked him for money or anything for that matter except for love and acceptance, which he adamantly declined each time we reached out to him. For what he’s done is nothing but selfish and defying. He left me with his funeral costs, $50,00.00+ in credit card debts, unpaid taxes on OUR home on “his little island” (he didn’t own it by himself) and his electricity bills (OVERDUE) and unpaid cell phone bills. If you must know the truth, the man was a severe alcoholic, drug addict and BROKE. He was the best liar I’ve ever met.
I’m so glad many of you out there really admired him. I just wish he could love my sister and I, just a little.
So, you wanted him to love and accept you. Seems like you were very loving and accepting of him, calling him the devil and all that.
You have no idea.
Do you not see how it’s in bad taste to air dirty laundry on a page meant to commemorate the man?
Wald
Just found out there. Fuck it, this is sad. He was a sound out guy, always giving me loads of encouragement. I remember when I asked about Mardi Gra and the meetup all that time ago, he offered to sort things out while I was there. Awesome writer as well; two articles which spring to mind were the suicide one and the red pill isolation one.
Hope the lads doing ok, shine on to him.
Thanks for your comment, Francis.
Hope all is well with you.
Wald
I remember Mitch from back when he was writing as Simon Rierdon at Veritas Aculeus. It’s always sad when someone from the ‘sphere exits, and especially sad when they find it necessary to take their own lives.
RIP, Mitch Sturges. You’ll be missed. If his writings can be cataloged and saved, so much the better for the community.
A few years ago there was an eloquent writer named Tom Munson who wrote at PrivateMan’s blog. He died of cancer. He was passionate. Go to theprivateman.wordpress.com and click “Living Like Tom” if it’s still there.
Thought I replied to your comment earlier, but I hadn’t.
Thanks for your comment, Deti. Truly.
I’ll take a look when I get a chance. I read it once before I believe.
Wald