Practicing What I Preach

Since I have accrued what little experience I have, little gives me more satisfaction than confirmation of a game concept in real life or getting the bang. I have not fucked that many girls, but I have kissed enough that I can keep track of that and I don’t bother to anymore. Kissing a new girl gets kinda boring after the first night. Still, the other night was good one. I went to a bar to meet up a couple of friends, to play ping pong.

At first I was not enjoying myself. I didn’t really feel like going out, but I said I would earlier, and didn’t want to dilute my word with a honest but weak “I don’t feel like it”. I had not spent much time with my friend anyway, so I figured, what the hell. When I got there, I didn’t have much fun at first.There were two of my friends. Let’s call them George and Eddy. We played the ping pong game where everyone lined the table and took turns hitting the ball back and forth until nobody was left except the final two. I’m not bad at ping pong by any stretch, but I kept getting knocked out in the beginning. This started to piss me off because I know I’m not bad at ping pong and should be doing better. My mood got worse until my facial expression must have made me look like a serial killer. I got in one guy’s way going around the table and paused for a second. When he raised his arms in a “What the hell are you doing man?!” I contemplated stabbing him in the neck with my key, or causing some other grievous bodily harm, but I was up again soon.I recognized in my head that I wasn’t having a good time. I accepted it. Some nights suck.

Fuck it, float it. Bow

I repeated it several times in my head. Nothing happened at first. I sat down and George  came by. “You look pretty bored man”, he said. “Yeah, I’m annoyed that I keep getting knocked out so early. I traveled forty minutes to just sit down?” He understood my frustration but didn’t seem to understand the nuance when I said, “I’d rather get knocked out because the other guy outplayed me than just because I made a careless mistake.” I noticed him talking to a German girl who was part of the ping pong line. She wasn’t especially pretty but she wasn’t harsh on the eyes either.

“Who’s the girl?”

“I don’t know.”

“You should ask her name”

I was trying to rib George into action. It seemed like the girl was interested in him. Later when I was in line next to him, she managed to position her self in between us so she could talk to him some more. A few more rounds ’round the table and I was out, probably because I was focusing on my friend and the girl. I started to smile a bit and stopped caring about ping pong. The two of them passed me by and I heard an exchange of names. Another smile, from ear to ear this time. Unfortunately, my buddies got tired of ping pong and wanted to leave.

“Aren’t you gonna say good bye?”

“Where is she?”

“In the corner, right there.”

“Nah.”

“Did you get her number?”

“Nah. I’m tired. Wasn’t feeling it.”

“Doesn’t matter. Takes five seconds to ask her number. Tell her you liked the conversation and want to talk more.”

“Nah man, I’m tired.”

“You’ll never get a number if you don’t try. All I’m saying is that you’ll miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”

“Good point.”

Eddy agreed with me and took his time to explain that he was on the same side of the fence as me on things. I was hungry so we got food before we left. I ordered a Döner in Turkish, they got their food in German. As we got on the U-Bahn, I talked more with George who was reluctant to act on the German girl. Meanwhile I noticed Eddy talking to some girl next to him. I smiled once more and continued talking with George. George explained his lack of effort as wanting to stay with his friends and being tired. I explained to George that if he thought he was gonna get his dick wet, I’d not think any worse of him, if he ditched to pursue. He clarified that when it was just me and him, it was different. But when he went out with the group, with girls, he had to make sure they got home okay.

“Let me ask you something, George. Are you really friends with any of these girls?”

“Just Laura, I’ve known her since kindergarten.”

“Alright. That’s understandable. But she goes home early. She takes care of herself.”

“True.”

“But what about Sarah? Or Maria?”

“What about them?”

Are you fucking them?”

“No.”

“That’s right. Maria’s got a boyfriend. It’s his job to take care of her. Not yours. And Sarah’s a big girl. She can take care of herself. She’s not your reponsibility.”

“I see what you’re saying, word up.”

“I mean, god knows Sarah needs some dick. But still. Not your responsibility.”

I got off the U-Bahn with Eddy and I smirked.

“So who’s the girl?”

“French girl.”

“Did you get her number?”

“Yeah, we’re hanging out sometime this weekend.”

“Good man.”

“Too bad I’m not here for long.”

“That just means that if somehow it gets fucked up, you’ll never see her again. Try something new.”

“Yeah man, you’re right.”

We chatted some more about the George and how he dealt with girls. Eddy distanced himself from George, telling me that he didn’t put girls onto pedestals and stuff. I explained that didn’t think George put girls on pedestals, he just wasn’t on his game. I was trying to make him go for the girl even if he wasn’t on it at the moment That’s all. I made a mention that only one guy I knew of, Hunter, was doing anything.

“Yeah, but Hunter’s going for underage.”

Eddy was refering to the recent drama surround Hunter where a host sister of a fat girl, Catherine, went out and kissed Hunter out of the blue. They proceeded to make out a bunch. Typical of American girls, Catherine played the mother hen. Everyone made a hub-ub about the host sister being 17 and Hunter being 20. I smacked down this notion from Eddy by stating that it was both legal and normal. I gave the example of the frustrated American woman knocking on older celebrities who go for younger women. They’re just jealous. Same thing with Catherine. When Eddy said the German girl looked a bit old, I asked him how old the oldest girl he’s been with was. He said, “21 when I was 19”. That’s nothing of course and I told him about my experience with a 40 year old Chinese woman. He shut up about age shortly after before boarding his train home. I got on my train on the S1 line, Richtung Wannsee. I sat in a booth and after one stop, a cute girl sat across from me. I thought of what I’d say in my head what seemed like a minute.

“Entschuldigung. Weißt du ob dieser Zug nach Rathaus Steglitz fährt?”

“Excuse me. Do you know whether this train goes to Rathaus Steglitz?”

“Ja.”

“Yes.”

“Ach so, gut.”

“Ah okay. Good.”

I picked up on a slight accent. Game on.

“Du hast so einen Akzent. Woher kommst du aus?”

“You’ve got an accent. Where are you from?”

She lets slip a small smile.

“Frankreich.”

“France.”

“Echt? Wo?”

“Really? Where?”

“Somewhere I can’t remember”

“Echt? Ich lebte 6 Jahren in Frankreich. In Paris.”

“Really? I lived in France for six years. In Paris.”

She smiles a bigger smile this time.

“Wo denn?”

“Where?”

“J’ai habitez a Paris pour 6 ans. Mais j’ais oblier beaucoup de mon vocabulaire.”

“I lived in Paris for 6 years. But I lost a lot of my vocabulary.”

“Mais vous parlez très bien français.”

“But you speak pretty good French.”

We got into a conversation where I asked her what she was doing in Berlin, how she liked it. She asked me the same and what my father did for work. We talked about accents and traveling. Then it was Rathaus Steglitz. It was her stop. I walked out with her and to her bike. I said my university was near by and that I was meeting a friend for drinks before I left to my actual station, two stops down.

“Es war schön mit dir zu reden. Wir können uns noch einen anderen Tag reden.”

“It was nice talking with you. Maybe we can speak again another day.”

“Ja.”

“Yes.”

I stuck out my phone. Her battery was dead so I just let her put her name and number in my phone. I introduced myself.

“Je m’appelle (Wald).”

“My name is (Wald).”

“Je m’appelle (C).”

“My name is (C).”

“Enchanté.”

“Nice to meet you.”

“Bon Soiree!”

“Have a nice evening.”

“Toi aussi. Au revoir!”

“You too. Good bye!”

I waited until she left and then got home. I don’t really care if I meet her again. If I do, I’ll invite her to play pool and then have her come to a salsa lesson with me. If not, that’s also cool. I’m just happy that I practice what I preach.

~Wald

Weekly Poem: The Reaper

The Reaper

“Fear and guilt consumes those,

Who soon shall reap what they have sown,

Soon they will fear the Reaper,

Their ubiquity will abate, we will not share their fate,

Without a life, I’ve got none left to lose,

Their poison, can’t be transfused,

Survive or die, they won’t get to choose

There will soon be a stand,

___

I’ve got path ahead of me,

I will walk even if it’s the end of me,

One purpose, one mind, and direction,

Thwarting feminism with my erection,

They can’t accept responsibility,

They ask “who shall my keeper be?”

Their threat of death won’t make me weaker,

Because I drink with the Reaper.”

~Wald

Weekly Poem: On German Character

I used to love writing poems before I wrote them about girls, and I intend to get back to writing them more, seeing as they’re fun to write and people still seem to think they aren’t so bad. More importantly, I still enjoy writing them. After writing my little bit on Bill Powell’s blog, I’ve decided to write a poem once a week on this blog.

Today’s poem will be in German.

“Ordnung ist schön,

Ordnung ist fein,

In allen Bezirken des Lebens,

Muss es immer sein.”

~Wald

Gotcha!

Last week’s post was an April Fool’s post.

The reason why I had not posted afterwards had more to do with me getting blitzed with my studies than me dealing with the Facebook message that never came and probably never will.

Besides seeing how many people would skip the date and be fooled by the seriousness of the post, I had a secondary purpose for my April Fool’s post. I wanted to test a writing style of mine, that seems to come out when I speak about this subject. Everything in that post was real except the end. I may have changed the grammar and spelling of the Skype conversation, but everything in there, my thoughts, my words, were real.

You see, I do plan to write about my experiences through high-school  eventually to catch up with myself today, whatever “today” is when I finally get to write about it. To top it off, I hope to write a book. In this book, I’d write about my experiences with my last oneitis. There is so much to learn from it, but so much pain in going over it. Not everyone knows the whole story, my best friends both on and off the manosphere included. Probably only my father knows the whole story, secrets and all. I feel like if I write a book about this, it would be a big step in finally, letting go of this stuff completely. The hold this oneitis has over me is still strong, even if its power wanes every day, to be less and less.

On one hand it makes for some nice natural aloofness. On the other hand  I’m in a constant weird emotional state where I picture myself fucking girls within meeting them (good) and having babies with them after getting intimate (bad). I’m getting better at dealing with this, but it is better to not have to deal with it at all, than to merely be good at dealing with it. At least, that’s what it looks like and that is how I feel on the subject.

On the blog front, I imagine things will slow down in school sometime in the middle of this week, and I should start posting again, randomly, if not per my desired schedule.

~Wald

You Won’t Even Believe What Just Happened…

I thought it truly was over. I hadn’t talked to her since October.

Our last real conversation:

Me: But hey – C’est la vie.
Me: Although, I will go to the (Redacted) to sign the (Redacted).
Her: Ah ok.
Her: Say hi to Ms. (Redacted)
Her: I will try to visit them too, someday.
Me: If you visit while I’m still in (Redacted) – I’ll go with you.
Her: Sounds good.
Her: But I wont be able to do things more than friendly.
Me: Oh yeah.
Her: I guess I’ll say hi to Mrs. (Redacted) for you.
Her: Wouldn’t want you to lose control.
Her: 🙂
Her: I wouldnt lose control, I kind of like someone now.
Me: Good luck with that.
Her: Thanks.
Me: hahahaha
Her: What?
Her: Why would I need luck if I like someone?
Me: hahahaha
Me: I’m not laughing at that.
Her: What are you laughing at?

Sure, I kept upbeat with the occasional “Wouldn’t want you to lose control”, but what she said next just took the wind right out of my sails. It was like she took a shiv and plunged it into what remained of my heart. I wasn’t laughing in a good way. I was laughing, hysterically inside, like when you know it’s over and there is nothing you can do but laugh about it. I felt dead inside that I really had no more chance. I couldn’t bear to speak with her any longer She had finally move another and there was no way I could ignore it any longer, with the evidence looking me in the face.

I never spoke much about this story, because doing so gives me the chills. I’ve forced myself to shut about it to parents, friends, and family as much as I can. Because, I could go on for hours, days, weeks, if not years on this subject. Analyze everything. Sure, there was a tonne of game to learn from it, but as I go through every word we spoke to one another, I’d relive every interaction and that in itself was no small torture. On my blog I have a trajectory, of going through my high-school years the painful lessons I’ve learned. She is simultaneously my greatest success and my greatest failure. I will always have a soft spot in my heart for her.

And it killed me. That I never sealed the bond. I had this nagging suspicion, that my memory would be wiped from her memory, with the next guy who is able to escalate enough to deflower her. The only way I was able to deal with it in the end, was the nuclear option, of which she was so afraid. I had not talked to her since October, when she spotted me on Skype   after I had deactivated Facebook and not been on for a month. With RIP as my last status. The only, final bond between me and her, was that we were still “friends”, on Facebook. And I had not deleted her from Skype, nor her me. The last time she was online, visibly, was in January. And I think that every time she is online, it is because she hopes I see and that I will talk to her. I think this, because in February 2012, she started appearing offline during our FB and Skype conversations so that we wouldn’t be interrupted by her friends. She’d only appear online so I’d see it and initiate conversation. I thought that the fact that she hadn’t been online since January meant that she’d had given up hope.

I wanted so desperately to talk to her again, but I couldn’t. For every time we talked after the final “break-up” (we had labeling issues), her memory, in my head, of being submissive, wanting to cook for me, and to be dominated by me, got diminished. She no longer felt it anymore. The I love you, but I am not love with you. The kiss of death. I could have died happy in November. December even. Fucking January too. Such is the power she came to have over me. Rivaling the power, I once had, and maybe still have over her.

But the other day, she appeared online again. I couldn’t bear to look so I went off of Facebook. When I returned to it later, I saw a big red, 1 on top of my message icon. I thought to myself, “It can’t be her, can it?”

It was. For her Art School in Turkey, she’s studying abroad near my hometown. She misses me a lot and wants to see me again….

~Wald

Announcement and Fun

I’m going to try to have a regular posting schedule from now on.

  1. Monday
  2. Wednesday
  3. Friday

Any articles posted in between should not be really substantial. I’ve got two reviews in the kitty, and I’ll post one tomorrow.

Until then – here are some awesome videos:

~Wald

Some Kids Need To Get Their Ass Beat

I was talking with Matt Forney the other day, and conversation hit the topic of kids who need to get beaten more often.

I see a lot of kids who I think should have gotten beaten more as children. Or bullied. Or something. I was not beaten as a child, but my father did spank me. His word, was law. Didn’t want to eat my peas?

SMACK! From across the table.

I ate every last one. Every last damn pea.

Had the gall to interrupt conversation?

SMACK! Onto the floor I went.

I was silent for the rest of the night.

It got to the point where he didn’t even have to smack me anymore. He’d look at me and I’d already be cowering inside. One day, my sister told on me because I ate all the icing of the top of his cake. I hid underneath my bed the whole day.

The best part was when I was getting punished for something and I tried to run away.

See, my Dad’s a stand-up guy. He’d spank me thrice for the punishment I rightly deserved and then three times that amount for trying to run away.

The quickest way I learned to avoid the book, open hand, or a long, thin switch, was to either do no evil, or to not get caught doing it. Unfortunately, I was not good at not getting caught. Fortunately, my sister was worse.

She probably still talks about how I didn’t get spanked enough as a kid. And I just laugh because her dumbass probably got me out of more trouble than I ever could by myself.

My secret was that I paid real good attention once the screams penetrated the thin walls that separated our rooms and I made sure not to do what she did.

~Wald

Alpha Is Assumed

Alpha Assumed is a relatively new blogger in the manosphere who mostly talks about politics and the correct way to argue to win leftists over instead of enduring the usual tedium.

He’s been on fire for the last four posts, so I wanted to drop him some extra linkage so more people get exposed to his arguments:

Some highlights:

I + A = Guns

Hence, the two fundamental arguments in favor of gun rights.  They don’t contradict, and there’s no reason not to believe in both.

The Libertarian (I):  I am an individual with inalienable rights, and as such I have the right to protect myself and my family.  I don’t care if it reduces crime or not (although it does), I have the right to a gun as long as I don’t use it improperly, for I am what I am and the State has not right to mess with that.  The US Government may not be quite as bad as Pol Pot’s, but history shows that democracies have degenerated into tyrannies before, if that crap happens here, an AR-15 or a Glock is the best shot I’ve got.  Governments attract people who want power, and I don’t trust anyone who wants power over me.  Justice Thomas may treat me okay, but I’m not so sure about Justice Kagan.  And even if she has no intention to harm me, she has no right send any SWAT teams to my house to deprive me of my property.

The Conservative (A):  I support the police, but they can’t be everywhere.  Criminals respond to incentives, and there’s no stronger incentive to not rob me than a .45 at my side.  I don’t want a gun to shoot the police, I want a gun because I respect them.  They’re willing to risk their lives for me, and if I can protect myself, they’re less likely to have to.  Besides, outlaws by their very nature, don’t respect the law.  If you ban firearms, the only people who won’t have them will be the people who don’t care about the law.

Top-Up Democracy

Imagine that I’ve been trying to get across the point that certain individual rights trump those of the majority will, and Melissa just won’t buy it.  I then propose that we pretend our little group is a closed society, and that we’re a democracy.  Majority rules, period.  Melissa goes along:  after all, itsdemocracy.

I might then make a couple of innocuous proposals for us to vote on, like maybe what restaurant we go to or on what color cups we should use.  Make it fun.

Once we’ve all accepted how incredibly fair democracy is, I “propose that Melissa remove her shirt, now.”  I call for a vote, and the majority votes that she does it.  Melissa protests.

Martel:  But we’re a democracy.  Majority rules.

Melissa:  Yeah, but…

Martel:  Democracy!  Majority rules.

Melissa then hems and haws, so I help her out.

Martel:  So are you saying that there are some things that a democracy should not be allowed to do?

I have thus illustrated that there are circumstances under which individual rights (in this case Melissa’s right to keep her shirt on) trump the will of the majority, that sometimes the interests of the majority violate the sovereignty of the minority.  Democracy is NOT infallible.

Sweet Charity

The left assumes that the solution to poverty is not only political, it’s primarily political, and it’s an activist government that needs to rectify it.  Rare is the leftist who is aware of how the stifling regulation in our inner cities strangles entrepreneurship in its cradle (read Sudhir Venkatesh’s Off the Books for an in-depth description of how the urban poor are forced to survive in the underground economy).  Almost never will you find a liberal who understands that the primary reason that some countries have a stronger middle class than others is that some legal systems respect property rights and others don’t (Hernando de Soto’s Mystery of Capital is a fantastic description of this phenomenon, just try to refrain from assassinating the entire Hatian government after you read it).  The resistance of teachers’ unions to charter schools and other forms of school choice forces poor kids to go to crappy schools.  Leftists don’t understand how competition could improve education for these kids for even less money.  Instead, the solution is for us to spend even more money and to hold the teachers even less accountable.  If government spending solved the problem of poverty, Detroit would be among our nation’s wealthiest cities (it’s not).

Not All Welfare Recipients Are Like That

I’ve no reason to doubt Daisy’s assertion that she got government assistance growing up and became a hard-working adult who pays her taxes like the rest of us.  Daisy’s not the only one, either.  I know such folks, and know of many others.

I am therefore unable to “repeat the nonsense that having health care (or anything else) paid for, suddenly turns you into some obscene, lazy freeloader” because I haven’t said it, and Yohami didn’t either.

Nevertheless, she reveals an important fallacy common to the left.  When it’s pointed out, it can make you more persuasive when dealing with them.

There is human nature, what people generally do (A).  There is also a how people should be, and sometimes are (G).

Apparently, Daisy’s family did something right.  Although they received government assistance, they obviously didn’t rely on it to the point that it sapped their work ethic.  Furthermore, they raised their daughter in such a way that she would not be inclined to grow up as a mooch.  This implies that any sense of entitlement they may have had was outweighed by their self-respect.  This is good.  It’s not a myth.  Sometimes people actually act this way.  G is sometimes real.

However, when people are able to get something for free, they’re liable to take it.  Not only will they take it, a lot of times they’ll count on it.  As they count on it, they become dependent on it.

Take a look.

~Wald

 

 

Meanwhile in Belgium Part 2

I’m in a cafe eating Lasagna and there is a wonderfully good connection to the internet here. So without further ado, I present to you, pictures, from Brussels to Brugges.

Some of the old walls – Brussels

Chiseled Bitches

He careth not for the lamentations of the wench

Shopping area. Similar to the “Arcade(s)” in London near Saville Row.

Brewery on the left, townhouse on the right

I saw this hat store on a tour but didn’t have time to stop. After the tour was over, it took me three hours to find this place. Of course I bought a hat.

Looks like Notre Dame in Paris.

A party in underneath a train station. Was good fun. Unfortunately, I apparently took an hour long video which meant I could only take a few pictures the next day.

Chocolate Boxes containing chocolates, made of chocolate.

The Virgin Mary – the “untouched” woman is the only touchable statue in the Cathedral as of now. Methinks someone’s a skeptic.

~Wald