Eugene Onegin will be a Ghost of your Player Past

For Russian class, I am to learn the story of Eugene Onegin, a classic Russian tale written by Pushkin.

Because I am not yet competent in Russian, I simply read the summary off Wikipedia:

“In the 1820s, Eugene Onegin is a bored Saint Petersburg dandy, whose life consists of balls, concerts, parties and nothing more. One day he inherits a landed estate from his uncle. When he moves to the country, he strikes up a friendship with his neighbor, a starry-eyed young poet named Vladimir Lensky. One day, Lensky takes Onegin to dine with the family of his fiancée, the sociable but rather thoughtless Olga Larina. At this meeting he also catches a glimpse of Olga’s sister Tatyana. A quiet, precocious romantic and the exact opposite of Olga, Tatyana becomes intensely drawn to Onegin. Soon after, she bares her soul to Onegin in a letter professing her love. Contrary to her expectations, Onegin does not write back. When they meet in person, he rejects her advances politely but dismissively and condescendingly. This famous speech is often referred to as Onegin’s Sermon: he admits that the letter was touching, but says that he would quickly grow bored with marriage and can only offer Tatyana friendship; he coldly advises more emotional control in the future, lest another man take advantage of her innocence.

Later, Lensky mischievously invites Onegin to Tatyana’s name day celebration promising a small gathering with just Tatyana, her sister, and her parents. When Onegin arrives, he finds instead a boisterous country ball, a rural parody of and contrast to the society balls of St. Petersburg he has grown tired of. Onegin is irritated with the guests who gossip about him and Tatyana, and with Lensky for persuading him to come. He decides to avenge himself by dancing and flirting with Olga. Olga is insensitive to her fiancé and apparently attracted to Onegin. Earnest and inexperienced, Lensky is wounded to the core and challenges Onegin to fight a duel; Onegin reluctantly accepts, feeling compelled by social convention. During the duel, Onegin unwillingly kills Lensky. Afterwards, he quits his country estate, traveling abroad to deaden his feelings of remorse.

Tatyana visits Onegin’s mansion, where she looks through his books and his notes in the margins, and begins to question whether Onegin’s character is merely a collage of different literary heroes, and if there is, in fact, no “real Onegin”.

Several years pass, and the scene shifts to St. Petersburg. Onegin has come to attend the most prominent balls and interact with the leaders of old Russian society. He sees a most beautiful woman, who captures the attention of all and is central to society’s whirl, and he realizes that it is the same Tatyana whose love he had once turned away. Now she is married to an aged prince. Upon seeing Tatyana again, he becomes obsessed with winning her affection, despite the fact that she is married. However, his attempts are rebuffed. He writes her several letters, but receives no reply. Eventually Onegin manages to see Tatyana and presents to her the opportunity to renew their past love. Does he desire her only for her wealth and position? She recalls the days when they might have been happy, but that time has passed. Onegin repeats his love for her. Faltering for a moment, she admits that she still loves him, but she will not allow him to ruin her and declares her determination to remain faithful to her husband. She leaves him regretting his bitter destiny.”

The story I imagine might resonate with most “players” out there. Due to our modern world with shrinking borders and ever improving means of transportation, the average player may have up to three or four Tatyanas in his life.

Know yourself, that you may identify what it truly is that your heart desires, and you may learn your lesson before your last Tatyana marries and sets up a wall through which you’ll never pass.

Otherwise, like Scrooge, you may find yourself so lonely that your only friends will be the ghosts of the past.

~Wald

Poem of the Week: Why I Write Letters

“Put your mind at ease and now speak,

Or forever, hold your peace.

Because of that distance, forbidden to speak,

At the end, there’s no peace to seek,

Say it if you must, but make it brief,

To hold words unsaid can cause the utmost pain,

Because time will go by and it you cannot regain,

But like a picture, words can create a timeless domain,

To behold them is to briefly a past, attain,

For In letter form, memories do their best to remain,

That they not get washed away, like tears in the rain”

~Wald

Quick Arguments Thought of While Waiting On A Someone

The other day, I was waiting to meet up with someone. She was late as always – but it mattered not. The time spent while I was waiting on her was well spent. I let my thoughts drift and found myself wanting for a pen and paper. All I could get was the back of a receipt to write on.

Argument 1:

Sure, it is normal for some animals to be homosexual. It is also normal for monkeys to fling their poop.

Argument 2:

A woman’s happiness lies with a supportive family and cooking, for in the end, her looks will fade and family and cooking will be all she has left or ever need.

Argument 3:

The biggest fear of the politically active homosexual is that he has nothing of worth to his name besides owning and accepting his own sexual orientation – and no one even gives a shit about that.

Argument 4:

The biggest fear of the politically active feminist is that now woman are “equal” with men – and no one truly gives a shit about her opinions, even now.

Argument 5:

If you desire equality with someone by bringing them down to your level – you don’t wish to be as good as them so much as you don’t want them to be better than you.

Argument 6:

When a woman sees it fit to use her own example to discredit an argument of mine, I like to use one of her own discredit her attempt to discredit; I remind her that NAWALT.

That’s all for today, class dismissed.

~Wald

Gedicht der Woche: Auf der Spree

“Eines heiβen Tages, lagen wir auf der Spree,

Endlich könnten wir ihn genieβen, ein Tag ohne Schnee,

Der Himmel war hellblau, die Sonne heiss, und Lippen weich,

Da waren zuzweit, und leicht verging die Zeit,

Auf dem Weg zurück, führen wir zuerst mit dem Zug,

Da wurde uns etwas gesagt, von einer die sehr “weltklug”,

Ihr Ausdrück war so sauer, sie sagte es nach einer Pause,

Wir lachten darüber, “Hey! Habt ihr kein Zuhause?”,

Es gingen langsam, um niemanden zu verletzen,

Denn wir wüssten uns zusammen zu schätzchen.”

~Wald

Why I Drink

I drink because it slows me down.

My head moves fast – too fast sometimes to translate the connections the electrical synapses make into words. My life has moved quite fast also. Living in one country and then the other. One house, one school, and then another. Making new friends and just as soon saying good bye. Life comes at you fast.

And alcohol is my way of slowing it down.

I won’t make claim that I’m genius because I drink – but it’s true. I can’t really turn my brain off.

I’ve learned I can focus it on things. And sometimes it focuses on things without me telling it.

Since being in the game, I’ve been able to slow it down without the aid of my old friend, drink. In paradoxical way, I think slower by thinking faster. How does that work you may ask?

As I’ve gained experience, I know many answers to questions that used to stump me; what to do, how, and when. So instead of having a million questions – I quickly answer most of them and end up with a few. The end result? I have less to think about.

Testament to my advancement – I’m starting to enter territory where when I answer certain questions, I’m right….and I find I don’t always like it.

Wald

Absence

I’ve been away due to university kicking my ass, dealing with an overseas girlfriend and the acquisition of another near home base, and army ROTC. Most recently, I just got back from 48 hours of FTX and I am dog tired.

I’m not dead yet, just you wait.

~Wald

Government Shutdown My Ass

Unsurprisingly, the FBI and the IRS (and probably the CIA and NSA) are still in operation, despite the widely announced shut-down of the US Government.

Federal authorities have charged a man with running Silk Road, a popular online black market for drugs.

The authorities identified the man as Ross Ulbricht, who was arrested by F.B.I. agents Tuesday afternoon at a library in San Francisco. Court papers filed in the case in Manhattan accuse him of engaging in a “massive money-laundering” operation and of trying to arrange a murder-for-hire. Mr. Ulbricht is to appear in federal court on Wednesday in San Francisco.

Mr. Ulbricht solicited a Silk Road user “to execute a murder-for-hire of another Silk Road user, who was threatening to release the identities of thousands of users of the site,” according to a criminal complaint unsealed Wednesday morning. Authorities also seized the Silk Road Web site.

In interviews with news reporters in the past, Mr. Ulbricht has gone by the moniker Dread Pirate Roberts, the authorities said, and until now his identity has remained a mystery.

The Silk Road marketplace is available through Tor, a popular tool for maintaining anonymity online. Bitcoin, a virtual currency, is used for transactions. The identities of sellers are not known to the buyers. About $1.2 million in sales were conducted a month in early 2012, according to a study by an assistant professor at Carnegie Mellon University, Nicolas Christin.

I only wish that it would shut down completely.

~Wald

(h/t to Matt Forney)

Poem of the Week: When You Find Your Mission

“When you find your mission, a better man you’ll be,

The effect’s not immediate, nor plain to see,

Rather it creeps on you, inevitably,

Its affect renews you, steadily,

Until one day you realize what is, that you were born to do,

Go where no man has before, discover the ultimate truth,

And with a hunger you pursue all avenues,

Nought but constraints of time can even limit you,

Your mind runs wild, you no longer feel an ennui,

Life is something of which you can’t get enough to eat,

And there you have it, chained by your dreams,

The cage is lifted and you finally feel free.”

~Wald