2012: A Year in Review

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If time flies when you’re having fun, the year 2012 has flown by quite quickly. I’ve learned a lot and have had my mind blown in conversations with Bill Powell and reading posts on blogs in the manosphere.

Let’s take a look at this year, shall we?

My blog has improved. In the month of December I got 4,467 views, which is more views than my best months combined!

My game has improved. I have no fear of talking to girls, and have kissed more girls than I can remember. I have slept with three new girls and three new flags (Chinese, Colombian, and American) and I am hot on the tail (heh) of my Brazilian flag.

I have improved my online game on POF to the point where I have gotten lots of responses and have screwed 2 out of 5 girls I have met from there in person (not bad).

I have advanced my dreams and plans to the point that my lofty dreams are have been fleshed out and I know how to flesh them out even more. I’ve got business aspirations and I know that there is plenty of opportunity in the world for me to take advantage of. In the past 8 months, since I have first talked with Bill Powell on the phone and others by email, my eyes have open and I have become a man. This past year has merely set the stage for my next transformation.

I’ve got plans and I’ll lay them out in the next post.

Happy New Year’s!

~Wald

The Commander On The Ground

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The Commander on the ground makes the final decision, or why older men and established communities think younger men and new comers are stupid and haven’t a clue of what they are talking about.

In World War One but especially World War Two, one of the things the German army did that was revolutionary was that high command would make a mission with certain objectives and then assign this mission to a unit. The commander of the unit, the subordinate to the high command was then free to accomplish the mission in any way he felt necessary. The rationale was that the commander on the ground had superior tactical knowledge of a mission than high command and therefore was well equipped to make changes in the plan in response to the change conditions on the ground. The high command accepted the fact that the best laid plans often fall apart and the best way to work around that was to let the commander on the ground change the modus operandi to fit the current tactical situation instead of rigidly following a plan and guide lines set by higher.

Other armies that were slow to adopt this line of thinking and operating had trouble reacting to the ever changing conditions of the battlefield. Commanders who were competent but did not always follow orders to accomplish missions often got court martialed and their careers stalled, hampering their ability to positively affect the war effort on their nation’s behalf. Commanders who were known for rigidly following rules often got their men killed when they could adapt to the ever changing tactics and strategy of the enemy.

Sometimes older men, jaded through experience, are quick to dismiss the ideas of younger men who seek their guidance because they feel like they know the answer already and that there is no other way to arrive at the same answer. Sometimes they dismiss the younger men as stupid for not seeing the answer like they do, because it is so blindingly obvious and “How can you not see what the answer is?”

Often the same issue is parallel in established communities where new comers are trying to break ground. One of the examples that most comes to my mind are scientific communities like the ones that revolve around physics or anthropology. Often they dismiss newcomers as too inexperienced to make any observation worth a damn or just plain crazy.

Usually the issue is that the older party or established community, having so much knowledge and experience in store, comes to conclusions pretty fast. Just like a boxer who can perform his combos faster and faster due to practice or can recognize the moves his opponent is using, fast enough to counter them, an older man or established organization uses all of their data points to come to conclusions and find answers pretty fast. Most of the time, this is a good thing. Sometimes, though, it prevents the older party or community from learning something new. Maybe the kid actually has something worthwhile to say. Maybe the up and coming anthropologist’s new theory actually has a lot going for it. Of course nobody would know unless they stopped to think that maybe they don’t have all of the data points and maybe they might learn something. It certainly doesn’t hurt to listen to all of new idea’s arguments, if not to only be surer of its usefulness or lack of it as opposed to making a snap judgment. It is important to keep your mind open so that you do not discourage younger people or new comers from forming their own opinions and bringing them to you.

The worst case is that they’ll tell you you’re full of shit and take their ideas elsewhere and learn things the hard way.

My father, despite his abundance of experience, does not belittle any ideas or suggestions I make and does not answer any stupid questions of mine as if it were a burden to do so. Sometimes he may think he’s a little forceful in debate, but he’s usually good about acknowledging the fact and apologizing if he thinks he has gone too far (he’s never actually apologized, but I did catch him explaining how he was tired and therefore his method of debate was little less diplomatic than usual and that he was not mad at me). Consequently, I seek out his advice often and pay attention even when I think his answer is off the mark.

My brother on the other hand does not do the same. He has gained lots of experience like my father and has done relatively well for himself. However, his attitude is different when offering answers to questions or advice. While he’s nice enough over the phone or through email, in person, his arrogance is corrosive. Every now and then I ask him questions and he’ll oftentimes sigh as if he is carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. Then he answers my questions as if I’m the stupidest person in the world for asking those questions. Or he’ll ask me to do so something for him and when I do it wrong or don’t understand what is asked of me, he’ll look at me as if I’m a retarded monkey capable of little more than eating bananas and slinging poop. And then he’ll tell me how I’m stupid and doing it wrong in a disappointed tone. This makes me dislike asking him questions. He just sounds like a pri-madonna douche bag who gets annoyed that he has to help me out or explain things to me. Sure he has more experience living life than I do, but not nearly enough like my Dad to warrant his attitude.

One time when I drove with him over 1,000 miles to keep him company on the way to see the birth of his first born son, I talked with him about a girl I was involved with. At the time I was started develop heavy feelings for her as she had already told me “I love you” plenty of times and I thought that maybe she might be sincere after all. My brother tore that idea apart with how it would end miserably because I wouldn’t see her for 18 months if I went to the service academy that I desired. When I told him about how I made her make me a sandwich and blow me while I ate it because she was “being too much of a woman” he told me that I was abusing her. He thought I hated women. I was appalled. How could he say I was abusing her? It’s one thing if beat her and forced her to make the sandwich, but to come to that conclusion? Just like that? He didn’t even stop to be on my side for a minute because I’m his brother? Or congratulate me on it? What? I hate women now?

The irony is that my brother once taught me that I should let what people say about or to me get to me. If some drunkard on the street told me, “I fucked your mom last night” I wouldn’t care. He doesn’t know me, or my mom, and probably didn’t fuck her. But to hear these sorts of comments from my brother blew me away. In ninth grade my brother once told me that I could ask him anything about girls, especially about how to have sex because he had no shame in discussing such matters and I was his little brother, dammit. Now the thought of asking my brother for any advice towards girls repulses me.

Later I learned that my brother acted the way he did as he was feeling guilty of some his own personal demons. I still don’t think he should have projected his bad behavior and morals regarding such on me but I largely forgive him for it. When I brought up the issue to my Dad, he explained to me that my brother had a hard time imagining that when I think of wrong answer, I come up with it, because at my age it makes sense and I don’t know any better. He will learn in time with his son that young people ask a ton of stupid questions and he’ll mellow out on giving advice. I certainly hope so.

~Wald

A Little Knowledge Is A Dangerous Thing

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A little knowledge is a dangerous thing, or why younger men sometimes totally disregard the advice of their older peers.

I’ve known this cliché for a long time, even at a younger age. For the longest time I thought that this cliché was one of empowerment in that, if you have even a little knowledge you could be capable or dangerous to others. Through conversation with my father I learned that I didn’t have the complete answer.

A little knowledge is a dangerous thing means that though one may know something, one does not know what one doesn’t know and make faulty decisions based on a the three data points when one should make a decision based on twenty. That is to say, if someone has a small knowledge of martial arts, he should not assume that he is therefore a kung fu master and start getting into fights. Sure, he might beat up a few guys who don’t know anything about fighting, but should he come up against someone with medium experience he’ll lose bad.

This cliché is especially applicable to younger men like myself. Often we learn a few things in a field of interest and we jump to many conclusions. Maybe we even accrue some experience that supports our grand total of five data points in head. Often we get to the point where we’re so confident in our expertise that we ignore the advice of our older peers who are trying to help because we think what we’re doing “makes sense” and “it’s worked before”. Of course, the guy trying to help us out is working with fifty data points and sees exactly where we’re going wrong and even explains it to us and still we ignore him only to learn the hard way that he was right all along.

This has happened to me plenty of times concerning advice with my Dad. This happens to plenty of younger guys just starting out in the game when their culturally ingrained beta advice wins out against the advice they get from their player friends or experienced mentors. This has also happened to me more times than I’d like to admit. It is all well and fine to learn by trial and error, and young men certainly have the time to learn from their mistakes. Often being young is the perfect time to learn from your mistakes because the consequences are relatively small. I mean, compare heart-break, writing love poems, and whining to anyone who will listen about how you fucked up to getting raped in divorce court, losing your kids, your lover, and tons of money in asset division; child support payments, and alimony. Learning from your mistakes at a young age beats the shit out of doing the same when you’re older.

But there’s another way to learn that’s faster and less painful. It’s called learning from the mistakes of others and taking the advice of others. I’ve had good relations with my parents and have stayed out of a lot of trouble because I saw, or rather, heard what happened to my siblings when they misbehaved. The screams that echoed through the walls and throughout the house were effective in convincing me to pay attention to what they did and not repeat it! My siblings often thought I didn’t get spanked enough. I laughed and thanked them for being stupid for me. For the longest time I didn’t learn from other people’s mistakes regarding girls. But when I started to, I avoided a lot of pitfalls. Sure, I occasionally have an episode where I’m headstrong or my feelings get the best of me, but I learn so much more this way than just learning from my mistakes. This is not say that I don’t also learn from trial and error, I do both. I attribute following my father’s advice to a lot of success in my life.

How do I do this? I accept that my Dad has seen and done a hell of lot more than I have and pay attention to his advice. It helps that I’ve naturally preferred his company to my mom’s since around fourteen years of age and have had plenty of time to pick his brain when we’d go shoot sporting clays for the last four years. I learned what Emotional Quotient or EQ is, when to recognize that mine was low, and how to deal with it so that my emotions don’t control my life (or affect my shooting!). All I have to do is look at how successful my Dad is, what good health he is for his age and then the quality of his advice is self-evident.

I don’t only take advice from my Dad. I take advice from what I read on various blogs in the manosphere. Somethings I have to take with a grain of salt of course, because it’s the internet. Usually I read something, keep it at the back of my head, and quietly evaluate whether it is true or useful or not based on my own experiences. I don’t take advice from just anyone, however, I take advice from people who I have reason to think know more about a subject than I do. And I keep taking their advice until they prove otherwise.

~Wald

That’s It, I’m Dancing

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I’ve been meditating on it for a couple of years now, keeping it in the back of my head (a healthy admiration for Parkour and break dancing help), but this post by Samseau at Return of Kings has convinced me.

I am going to learn how to Salsa. I’ve never been particularly skilled at dancing but I’ve had many positive experiences despite that, which I’ll detail at a later date. I choose Salsa because I have a predilection for Latin and Asian girls and I’ve always liked Salsa and the music that accompanies the dances.

Any advice on where to start would be much appreciated.

Here’s an interesting video for you.

Now I have to pick a martial art.

~Wald

The Miller’s Tale

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As it turns out, Game is not a new concept. It’s quite old, though the name has changed from time to time. I do not refer to the PUA movement that arose in the early 2000s. I am talking about the fact that people back as far the 1600s knew how to woo the women, if not even earlier (Ovid anyone?). While in an English literature class, I was assigned to read The Miller’s Tale, from Chaucer’s ‘The Canterbury Tales’.

Here is the story as summarized by Spark Notes:

The Miller begins his story: there was once an Oxford student named Nicholas, who studied astrology and was well acquainted with the art of love. Nicholas boarded with a wealthy but ignorant old carpenter named John, who was jealous and highly possessive of his sexy eighteen-year-old wife, Alisoun. One day, the carpenter leaves, and Nicholas and Alisoun begin flirting. Nicholas grabs Alisoun, and she threatens to cry for help. He then begins to cry, and after a few sweet words, she agrees to sleep with him when it is safe to do so. She is worried that John will find out, but Nicholas is confident he can outwit the carpenter.

Nicholas is not alone in desiring Alisoun. A merry, vain parish clerk named Absolon also fancies Alisoun. He serenades her every night, buys her gifts, and gives her money, but to no avail—Alisoun loves Nicholas. Nicholas devises a plan that will allow him and Alisoun to spend an entire night together. He has Alisoun tell John that Nicholas is ill. John sends a servant to check on his boarder, who arrives to find Nicholas immobile, staring at the ceiling. When the servant reports back to John, John is not surprised, saying that madness is what one gets for inquiring into “Goddes pryvetee,” which is what he believes Nicholas’s astronomy studies amount to. Nevertheless, he feels sorry for the student and goes to check on him.

Nicholas tells John he has had a vision from God and offers to tell John about it. He explains that he has foreseen a terrible event. The next Monday, waters twice as great as Noah’s flood will cover the land, exterminating all life. The carpenter believes him and fears for his wife, just what Nicholas had hoped would occur. Nicholas instructs John to fasten three tubs, each loaded with provisions and an ax, to the roof of the barn. On Monday night, they will sleep in the tubs, so that when the flood comes, they can release the tubs, hack through the roof, and float until the water subsides. Nicholas also warns John that it is God’s commandment that they may do nothing but pray once they are in the tubs—no one is to speak a word.

Monday night arrives, and Nicholas, John, and Alisoun ascend by ladder into the hanging tubs. As soon as the carpenter begins to snore, Nicholas and Alisoun climb down, run back to the house, and sleep together in the carpenter’s bed. In the early dawn, Absolon passes by. Hoping to stop in for a kiss, or perhaps more, from Alisoun, Absalon sidles up to the window and calls to her. She harshly replies that she loves another. Absolon persists, and Alisoun offers him one quick kiss in the dark.

Absolon leaps forward eagerly, offering a lingering kiss. But it is not her lips he finds at the window, but her “naked ers [arse]” (3734). She and Nicholas collapse with laughter, while Absolon blindly tries to wipe his mouth. Determined to avenge Alisoun’s prank, Absolon hurries back into town to the blacksmith and obtains a red-hot iron poker. He returns with it to the window and knocks again, asking for a kiss and promising Alisoun a golden ring. This time, Nicholas, having gotten up to relieve himself anyway, sticks his rear out the window and farts thunderously in Absolon’s face. Absolon brands Nicholas’s buttocks with the poker. Nicholas leaps up and cries out, “Help! Water! Water!” (3815). John, still hanging from the roof, wakes up and assumes Nicholas’s cries mean that the flood has come. He grabs the ax, cuts free the tub, and comes crashing to the ground, breaking his arm. The noise and commotion attract many of the townspeople. The carpenter tells the story of the predicted flood, but Nicholas and Alisoun pretend ignorance, telling everyone that the carpenter is mad. The townspeople laugh that all have received their dues, and the Miller merrily asks that God save the company.

Take from it what you will.

~Wald

Conversation with a Female Friend: Part 2

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Continuing the conversation from part one here:

Her: So guy hit me in the face at a party because I told him he was being rude to my friend

*some

So his fuse is shorter than most

Me: when?

Her: A few months back

Me: how did you tell him?

what tone did you use?

Her: I told him he shouldn’t talk to her that way because he was being degrading

I was actually pretty friendly

It was a fun party, no need for conflict

Me: define pretty friendly

hold your thoughts for a minute

Her: Like I was smiling, light tone (tone I use with my mom)

Me: I am going to ask you questions about this

I want to you be as honest as possible

I am not trying to judge you

or him

Her: I was a good distance away, I wasn’t even holding much eye contact

Me: so how far is a good distance away

?

Her: Hmm about two feet?

Yeah, I was about 2 ft away

Actually, no. About 3

Me: okay

what was your tone

of voice?

Her: I don’t know how to describe tone of voice

Me: loud

quiet

Her: I was slightly tipsy, so bubblier than usual

Me: how loud was bubbly?

Her: I wasn’t yelling or anything, but audible

Me: ok

did you call him any names?

as in

Her: No, I said “Hey mister, I don’t think that’s a really nice way to talk to my friend”

Me: did you say those exact words

Her: Yes

Me: or did you command him to stop talking to your friend in a rude manner?

Her: Then he said “Fuck you, sand nigger” then hit me

No, I was just trying to get him to chill out

Me: did you say anything after “Hey mister, I don’t think that’s a really nice way to talk to my friend”?

Her: Nope

Me: was this the first time you or your friends said something to him to get him to stop being rude?

(Her Name)

Her: Yea, he was like standing over her and being sort of intense. Then she came to me and said he called her a cunt for not wanting to leave with him, so I confronted him

Me: you confronted him?

it sounds like you had confrontational intent

even though you were in a bubbly mood

Her: By confront I mean approached him and said what I told you

Me: ok

now

I think I can break things down for you

1.

For what you’re dying to know, I’m sure

actually

one more thing

why did you confront him, instead of just avoid him the rest of the night?

Her: Because he wouldn’t leave my friend alone and she was getting really annoyed

Me: he wouldn’t leave your space?

or he wouldn’t stop talking in your direction?

Her: No, he followed us around the whole time

Me: oh alright

1. He was not right to punch you in the face for your request

which sounds reasonably put

I imagine he a) doesn’t know how to interact with girls very well (the following you around despite repeated rejections)

and b) does or did not have a male role model

to teach him how to manage him emotions

the reason why I asked you those questions

is because things happen under the hood that you don’t realize

if you call him a name when you ask him to stop doing something

you’re calling him out

and inviting a fight

if you tell him to stop doing something, he thinks. “Who the fuck are you to tell me what to do?”

and now you’re gotta prove you’ve got the authority

if you get in his face or use a loud tone of voice

whether you realize it or not

you are using signals men use, consciously or unconsciously

to let other men know that a fight is a comin’

if you choose to confront him rather than avoid him or switch bars

you are choosing the fight option of the “fight or flight response”

and he recognizes that subconsciously

now

Her: Yeah

Me: if any of what I say doesn’t make that much sense

imagine yourself

if you were a guy

and you did one of the things I mentioned

it makes a whole lot more sense, right?

Her: Yeah it does

Me: what I am really getting across to you

is that

you’re getting treated like a guy

Her: The thing is, I’m a really non-confrontational person

Me: you’re getting treated equally

Her: So I was really surprised

Me: I know you’re a non confrontational person

yes

there’s a combination of factors in this

I can tell you all of them

Her: And my dad makes it clear what can be taken as threatening posture, eye contact, voice etc because he is really aggressive

Me: but the very basic stuff

I can’t tell you all of them

yeah

well there’s more

Her: And I’m very vigilant of that, so I’m always aware when I’m asking for it or when I’m backing down

Me: true

I don’t doubt it

the point I am getting at

is choosing to confront

is aggressive intent

no matter how you go about it

because you are still indirectly saying,”Stop talking to/bothering my friend”

combined with a low fuse and/or a lack of ability to control emotional response or tell what a healthy reponse is

makes this sort of thing happen

do you understand what I am getting at?

Her: Yes

I understand

Me: even when you are doing everything right

there can still be some factor you don’t know about or didn’t plan for

now, going through this conversation

I can think of one other thing that was in play if you want to hear it

Her: Yes please

Me: so

that guy

on a basic level

he was following his biological imperative

and persuing a mate

even if clumsily and unskilled

what you would call creepy

or scary

depending on how he looked

I imagine you would say creepy

am I right?

Her:  (Rapey, is the term she used)

Me: hmmm

what did the guy look like?

tatoos?

muscular?

stupid?

smart?

chainz

gansta clothes?

Her: Really big build, about 6’2″, neglecting lower body and fully built with upper body, seemed fairly stupid, probably part of a frat

Me: ahh…………………………….

well

that’s a part of it

my point is

when you confronted him

you are directly getting in the way of him pursing his mate

which on an animal level

encourages him to compete for his mate

and when he is 6’2″

Her: Well I don’t think hitting me is helping him get any

Me: no

it’s not that he thinks hitting you will get him laid

on a very primal level

you are stopping him from pursuing a mate

when men are stopped from pursuing mates

the animal response is to fight

unless the person stopping the man is bigger

you confronted a 6’2″ frat boy

who saw you as little threat

what I am saying

is

you did everything you thought right

but on a simple level

you confronted him

and he dealt with you as he would some other opponent

you told me how you were suprised he hit you right?

you didn’t think he would hit you right?

you acted non threatening and did not act hostile

Her: I didn’t think he would even get mad! I wasn’t being remotely rude

Me: I know

it’s a very primal thing that is hard to understand

Her: It’s fine, I think I got it

Me: even though I am loathe to say it

the correct response would have been to get a bouncer to deal with him

or get him ejected from the club/bar

Her: Yeah

Me: I don’t expect you to agree fully with everything I say

or understand every little detail or nuance

but I’m glad you can talk about it and understand most of it

Question for you

Do you mind if I use this conversation as an example to other female friends of mine

?

Her: Oh go ahead

Me: Thank you

Her: If they can learn as much as I did from it, then I’d be happy to oblige

Me: I won’t use your name, just the points I explain in it

Her: Haha yeah that’s fine

Me: the funny thing is

you do better than most girls

your thought processes are better on this

but even you get flak when you miss the parts people don’t teach you about

like what I try to explain now

Her: Yeah, well like I said, my dad tries to give me basics

Me: yep

one more thing before I go

in our conversation

on facebook

I gave you a warning shot

you don’t always get a warning shot

if the guy has been drinking

if he’s pissed off

if he doesn’t have a role model to explain him to give one

or if the guy looks like a thug/frat boy/low intelligence

Make sense?

Her: Yes sir

Me: Alright

I have an exam

take care

Her: Good luck

And thanks for the advice

Me: You’re welcome

Bye

It appears that as women are being taught to act more masculine and men are taught to act more feminine, girls get surprised when they get treated like guys. It appears to me that their idea of being treated equally is just being treated like a girl and their idea of how to act like a guy is a bastardized version of what they see. Incidents like the female marine getting body slammed to the ground and dying when she starts a fight come to mind.

It’s my hope that more girls realize that not can they not truly be men, but that they don’t really want to be either. A lot of trouble would be averted if they understood better what was going on, or at least understood that they don’t really know how men work, and don’t get into fights because they think they do.

~Wald

Conversation with a Female Friend: Part 1

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I was talking to a female friend on Facebook today, who I frequently joke around with. I knew her from when she briefly went to high school with me and I’ve kept in touch with her ever since.

Every now and then I talk to her about things I cannot help but insert my new red pill views in conversation when ever I hear her spout blue pill platitudes. She talked about hitting a man if he looked at her “like a steak” which launched this conversation:

Her: If a man ever made that kind of face at me, I would happily kick him in the crotch

That’s not true though, because creepy black guys at my past uni did and I never had the courage to do it

Me: probably because they would hit you back

Her:…I never thought of that

Me: why not?

Her: I don’t know, I just never thought of anyone hitting a girl

Given, I could probably take a guy

Me: well

Her: I just can’t imagine someone actually hitting a girl

Me: if some girl hit you

wouldn’t you hit her back?

Her: Well yeah

Me: so why is it different for a guy?

Her: Well, if I hit a guy, it would be fair to hit me back

But if he looked at me like a steak

Things wouldn’t go so smoothly

Me: then you look at him like a steak back

Her: Hahaha

Me: doesn’t warrant punching him

Her: Pull a knife out

Me: punishment doesn’t fit the crime

Her: I never thought of it that way

Me: welcome to the real world sugah

Her: I don’t like the real world. I prefer my mind where I can hypothetically beat up 150+ lb men

Me: as long as you keep your imaginary world rules to yourself, that’s fine

but when you apply that logic to the real world

you get suprised

this shit happens

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=wsJRKDpqX6Y

She didn’t talk to me or initiate conversation for a while after that.

However I commented on a photo of hers today, that showcased a funny face just to poke fun, but I ended up starting an important conversation that I think all girls should read. Some of the initial conversation got deleted because she overstepped a line and got scared when I pushed back, so I am summarizing from memory.

It started out relatively innocent banter about her photo:

Me: Trollface approves this picture.

Her: You’re gonna get punched.

Me: You’ll probably punch my rock hard abs, sprain your wrist, and suffer a hearty bout of troll laughter.

Her: I’ll probably break your nose and suffer the pain that way.

Her: Rock hard abs? Who are you kidding?

Me: I’d probably headbutt your punch and break your knuckles like I have done others.

Her: Well that escalated quickly.

Me: You’re talking about punching me in the face. You gotta be careful how you talk about that. You say the wrong word in the wrong sentence and I go from trollface to warface.

Warface does not acknowledge rules, handicap itself against the weak, restrain itself in the interest of chivalry, or give pause to the weary.

Her: I got scared as soon as I read the first sentence.

She then messaged me to apologize for offending me, which kick started a whole conversation that’s been waiting to happen:

Her: Sorry I offended you Thomas

Me: Just gotta careful when you play with fire, Youmna

Her: Okay  I’m sorry, I learned my lesson

Me: When you told me how you never thought about getting hit back as a girl

This is what happens when you act under the assumption that you don’t get hit back

I enjoy your company and your friendship

so in the grand scheme of things it’s not a big deal

and really

you’re only encountering strong words

but I want you to know

the beneath the surface of every nice guy you meet and know

there is an underlying violence

different guys have differing levels of control of this violence

and different things can trigger it

Her: Ok

Me: talking about fighting

even in play dances a subtle line around this

guys play fight all the time

the play dominance games

call each other bad names when it’s really endearing

Her: But why would they play fight if it could trigger a real fight?

Me: some guys even become best friends after a fight

Her: What? How?

Me: as a girl you don’t recognize the subtle rules

well

for example

when two guys are wrestling

or play fighting

they don’t use all their strength

they learn this when they are younger

by playing with friends

or family

usually you’ve got some male family role models

but

the minute you use all your strength

shit gets real

Her: Sort of like puppies

Me: you have precious little time to apologize

and explain you are only playing

before words go out the window

and the animal fight or flight response comes in

Her: I’m so happy I’m a girl

Me: the same dynamic is present in words

a battle of wits

“Hey faggot”

“Shut up asshole, I’ll punch you in the teeth”

“Yeah right, you’d sprain your wrist”

etc

etc

Her: Yeah…

Me: I can’t explain how it works exactly

Her: But what if I’m just teasing?

How does the line work there?

Me: Well

you were teasing when you said that I was gonna get punched

it doesn’t specify where

how hard

etc

playful

but when you mention breaking my nose and your hand hurts because you punched me so hard

it sounds like a fights coming

Her: Oh

Me: immediately I came up with my response

of breaking your knuckles

in a sense

I was still playing

but it’s more of warning you that things are escalating

Her: Oh! Okay! I seeeee

Me: you back off and things smooth over

you don’t back off

and even though intellectually I know you are teasing

and my friend

are not a threat to me

or trying to be

subconsciously

you become one

and my thoughts turn from

“How to troll Youmna”

to

“How to break every bone in Youmna’s body so that she will be no threat in the present or the future”

Her:…well then, I need to watch myself

Me: yes

Her: Sorry Thomas

Me: most girls don’t understand how this dynamic works

Her: I promise I didn’t mean anything by it

Me: I accept your apology and I know you didn’t mean anything

your punishment is this lenghty explanation

I also explain this to you so you don’t accidentally trip me off

or some other guy

the worst part

is you are in America

where a lot of guys subdue this part of their nature

and they act girly

or have little male influence

or few male role models to teach them how to manage their nature

so that their nature doesn’t manage them

Her: Yeah

Me: in one sense

these guys are pussies

and hardly ever lash out

they’re submissive

and put up little to no fight

but they still have the nature

it’s just harder to tell when it will come out

and they don’t know how to control it

look at the recent shooting

single mother

no male role model

socially awkward

probably feminized

I do not condone what happened

but I recognize it as fighting back

that’s how long his fuze was

Her: Yeah

Me: because he had no outlet for these increasing feelings

they manifested themselves in a murderous spree

Her: I guess just cause my friends here are so mellowed out, they never seem bothered by my teasing

Me: most of the time they aren’t

Her: But I’ll definitely watch what I’m saying so it doesn’t seem threatening

Me: but that’s the dangerous part

because you don’t see any repercussions

even small ones

you forget that there are and can be repercussions

Her: Yeah

Me: the simple thing I am going over with you

is the obvious stuff

I am not like most guys in America

I would say I have a shorter fuse

but I am more aware of it

and I can manage it to an extent

Her: So you respond better to hugs

Haha

Me: oh

I didn’t follow for a minute

well

as long as you get my point

Her: Yes I do

Me: we can defuse the serious atmosphere this talk has

Her: But matter is, I won’t know everyone the second I meet them. So I shouldn’t test their fuse by using harsh wording. Because someone could have a short fuse and not know how to control it

Me: yes

She then talked about her experience of getting hit in the face by a guy in a club. I asked her about that in another conversation. You’ll have to see part two of this post, because there’s too much in here for just one post.

~Wald

Reflections: My Past, My Present, and My Future

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(Go ahead, I dare you. Read the post with the song playing)

I was discussing from one of my friends who I have helped unplug from matrix and get exposed to the manosphere things I’ve noticed about myself and others. I discussed some of my past how I’ve gone from socially maladjusted to socially competent to the point where I game nearly everyone.

We talked about several topics and I could not help but notice patterns, patterns that we both notice or share. In the interest of keeping him anonymous and exploring my own thoughts because I want to, I’ll withhold the patterns he shares.

I often feel like I’m on a different level than most people I know. I have a purpose in life and I have plan that gets fleshed out more and more as time passes and I come upon new opportunities. I have always felt that school was relatively easy or that there was someway to game it. When I was middle school in military school, I made straight As with three-year average GPA of 96.7 which made me the middle school Valedictorian. I was concerned that school was too easy and I missing something that would inevitably lower my grades by several degrees. Before military school, I never did homework but always did well on tests.

Throughout middle school, high school, and university I’ve never felt truly a part of any group. At most I have a group of friends who I am very close to with similar interests, but they are a level removed from my highest ambitions. I hope to bring them into the fold in the future, but they are doing just fine as it is. Accompanying these outsider feelings is my ability to hang out with almost any group of people and make friends with everyone. I frequently get along with a wide variety of people such that when hanging out with one group, they’ll denounce another group people I hang out with as douche bags or losers. Sometimes I play along and agree. Mostly I keep quiet or just laugh. I’ve got different levels of friends and I tell varying amounts of information to different friends. I rarely tell everything to any one friend, but spread my news, and if I may be so human as to complain, my complaints between my friends. A lot of the time I direct most of the controversial stuff towards my parents so my friends neither worry for me or think I complain much if at all.

I also noticed with my friend that I could help but notice that I felt some people were incredibly stupid. Accompanying these thoughts are feelings of superiority. I almost feel superior in intelligence, drive, and ambition to most people. I say almost because I dislike feeling superior to the point of being arrogant as I feel I am just waiting for hubris to derail my plans or my life, as it has many a great man or nation before me. I also recognize that people are not on the same level because they do not know, cannot see, and I better use my breath helping them see than mocking them from afar. I want to be the man with whom people rise up, not just one to take people down.

I used to have problems in my past due to bullying from different people at school to being belittled as oblivious, retarded, and unfunny as the youngest in my family. Parts of my Thal nature manifested themselves in how I viewed the world, confused with how it worked, and how I dealt with it. As my social competence increased and my natural understanding on how to manipulate my environment around me increased, these symptoms I experienced decreased and decreased until they faded from memory. I wondered last night why I couldn’t remember much of my childhood before sixth grade, before eight grade and I now think I know why. Somehow my new identity has repressed my old memories and feelings so that I do not regress to my old self. I almost refuse to read old poems I wrote for girls I liked because when I read those poems I feel the exact same feelings I felt when I wrote the poems.

In high school I went through a rebirth and transformed myself into a different version of me. I wore contacts in ninth grade and played contact sports. I was no longer self-conscious about my looks or my physical capabilities as I became know as the best tackler on the school’s JV and later Varsity Rugby team. I realized I could mold the world around me to my desires or benefit when I learned how to act towards teachers, faculty, and staff so that I got in little to no trouble when I got caught breaking the rules. I could walk around the dormitory drunk and the house parents never did anything because they either couldn’t distinguish whether I was drunk or being myself or didn’t care because I made good grades, stayed out of trouble, and was friendly with everyone. My last year, a girl who I got heavily involved with and I silently became the star couple of the dorm while it lasted.

I’ve gone beyond making my parents proud with my grades and my personal growth. I’ve never really been a problem child due to my innate nature and learning quickly from the mistakes of my siblings. And when I have been in some sort of boarding school environment since middle school, my parents are always happy to see me when I come home. Because I’ve never had to stay home for long periods of time (excluding some summers), I realize that I’ve never had to come to terms with any of the dysfunction in my family. When I do come home and see pieces of it, more obvious now that I have gotten older and can recognize it, I am at liberty to let it pass or deal with it as I please. I also realize that while I have an ability to fix some things, I cannot fix them all and I won’t try. I have come so far since my younger days that to deal with some older things would be to regress to my old self again. Today I realize that my family is not perfect, but I am happy with it. I enjoy the parts I like, avoid the parts I don’t like and know that with time, some things will get better.

Now I’m going through another transformation. I’m becoming more aware of the world around me and more comfortable in my ability to assess it for what it is and navigate it. My vision of my ultimate dream in life, to live on forever in human memory, is going from the abstract to reality and gets more tangible everyday. I am just starting on the precipice of getting where I want with women and getting where I want go further. Though I have much to learn and a huge journey in front of me, I look forward to it all. My transformation will not only be about women, though I will undoubtedly have large focus on them due to my libido. With a few new topics coming to the fore of my mind, ideas and opportunities that blow my mind, my development will be quite multifaceted.

With the state of my development and the development in the state of the world I both look forward to the future and dread it. I feel like I am in a race to realize my true potential and implement my designs before the world as I know it ceases to exist, and the rules change once more. The old Chinese saying, “May you live in interesting times” rings truer than John Donne’s Bell, which tolls for us all.

~Wald

On the Split between Game and MRA in the Manosphere

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I’ve been talking about various topics from the Manosphere with my Dad for almost the entirety of the time I’ve been exposed to it. If an article or idea interests me, I send him an email with the link or even bring it up in conversation. Sometimes I even talk to my mom about things. While my parents don’t agree with everything I read or necessarily like all of it, they willingly engage in cross-examination conversation and genuinely discuss issues I am curious about.

For that I am infinitely thankful.

I recently reflected on a conversation I had with my Dad about the apparent split in the Manosphere between Game and MRA. I explained to my Dad what the two camps focus on and why I thought they split.

He took the time to explain to me his story of a previous divorce of his, before he married my mother. Out of respect for him, I dare not go into too much detail – so I will summarize. He got the best female lawyer he could. He took extra steps like recording conversations and doing his due diligence and got to the point where he made his ex-wife look bad in court. So bad, that, despite the judge’s reputation of automatically awarding custody of children to the mother, my dad’s ex-wife’s lawyer came to him with an out of court settlement. He got custody of one child, she got custody of the other. No alimony or child support.

What was his point? He doubted that things are much worse today like from the horror stories I’d recount from the MRA articles I read or the stories I heard about soldiers getting divorce raped by their wives. But even so, he said, he didn’t just let things happen, or watch in horror as the world acted as it is and not how it should. He acted and did what he could to rectify his situation.

It came to me. The biggest split I see between the MRA and the Game is that the MRA adopts the victim position while the Game adopts the aggressor position. It looks like the MRA is trying to follow the same tactics that Feminists use and the Game uses the tactics of Feminists against them. “You think I’m a barbarian Patriarch who beats women? I’ll show you a barbarian!”

For whatever reason it looks like MRAs do not advocate action. There is a lot of “All women are evil, stay away from them.” There is alot of clamour to use the political system to fix things. There is a lot of, there is no such thing as game, just talk to them.  In counterpoint, the Game advocates improving your health, fitness, state of mind, and gives you the tools to deal with vapid western women and tells you where to find women aren’t. The MRAs sound like the Turkey who runs around screaming, “The sky is falling! We’re all gonna die!” The Game gives men hope.

This is not to say that MRA side is useless. I believe they are still important in bringing about awareness so that one is not completely oblivious to the nature of women and how they can screw you over in today’s society. When they recounted hundreds of False Rape Accusations, the Game came up with methods on how to combat buyer’s remorse and use texting to create evidence that would help you in court. When the MRAs tell us about the ‘Male Rape’ whereby a woman cuckholds a man or claims she got pregnant by you, Game tells you how to find your ballsack and get DNA testing and to call that dumb bitch’s bluff and/or how to be conservative with personal information so that the girl cannot track you down and trap you. When the MRA recounts horror stories of women beating their husbands Game tells you to give them the equality they asked for. When MRA gets everyone in tears with a heart rendering story about an honest man destroyed by a vindictive eat, pray, love wife, Game tells you how to spot the women more likely to do that so you can pump and dump and how to spot the women who won’t, should you be crazy enough to still want to get married despite all you’ve learned about today’s state of affairs.

I am of the opinion that while both sides have their disagreements and pick at each other, they are two sides of the same coin. Yin and yang. In fact, I think a lot of men start in the MRA side and go onto the Game side. Some men don’t leave. Other men start in the Game side and never find need to visit the MRA.

I myself got into both sides and watched them parallel. I now no longer visit any MRA sites because I have a general idea of what’s out there and how to avoid it. I will never forget what I learned, but I am focusing on other things now. Every now and then a particular story grabs my attention, especially if the mainstream media accidentally concedes what we all knew all along. But at the end of the day, I have outgrown the MRA.

As for the future of the MRA, I cannot comment. I only hope that they continue to persist by opening the eyes of young and old men alike, to the pitfalls of the blue pill today, that those men may do something about it.

The common cliche goes, “The first step to solving a problem is knowing what it is.” In terms of solving today’s problem, the MRA section is step one. The Game section is step two.

~Wald