For a lot of people, 2020 has been the worst year of thier lives. For me, 2018 was that year. I didn’t quite hit rock bottom, but I got pretty close. The next year saw me leave the army with $14k in savings, which were promptly wiped out through drinking, eating, and additional bad financial decisions. I began 2020 dead broke, with around $9-12k in debt, shuffling credit cards and bills around. Sometime in the Spring I walked away from an eleven month relationship with a good woman because I just couldn’t see myself marrying her and I didn’t want to waste her time.

But in that Spring, I got a new job that paid well. I decided to not drink for a year. And given the lack of open businesses or things to do in the initial corona panic, I was able to service about $2-3k of debt a month until I eliminated it completely. On top of all that, I met another good woman, made her my girlfriend, and may or may not be buying a house.

All in all, 2020 has actually been very good to me.

But I didn’t claw my way up out of this hole all on my own.

I owe thanks to a lot of people who helped me get here.

I’m thankful for my Father who, since 2015 has performed triple duty, between his day job, preventing hospitals from accidentally murdering my post-stroke Mother, and supporting me with wise, patient counsel at crucial moments in my life. Without him, I may never have escaped 2018 relatively unscathed. Without him, I might have taken an extra 10 years to realize the folly of the path I was on in regards to women. Conversations with him and seeing his relationship with and love for my Mother, have been my North Star. They’ve been an unseen guiding hand in the last ten years of my sojourn in this sphere of the internet.

I’m thankful for Whiskey & Ashes (aka Ace) for his friendship and mentorship. He helped keep me on an even kilter through my lowest points in 2018 and helped keep me sober-minded during my high[er] points in 2019 and 2020. Without him, my lowest point two years ago may have gotten the best of me.

I’m thankful for my best friend, without whom I would have gone crazy. He’s someone else in my daily life able to see the same things I do and tell me I’m not the only one. I’ve got the absolute confidence that he’s there for me if I need him and I believe he’s got the same in me. Should he need a body buried, a sympathetic ear, or good company – I’m happy to be of whatever assistance I can. He’s longest, continous friendship I’ve had in my traveling life and I hope we remain friends until I pass. I’m extremely grateful for his parents who a supportive, fun to hang out with, and overall good people who restore my faith in humanity.

I’m thankful for my girlfriend and her family. A surprising bright light this year. Last year, the gap between confessions was 15 years.Then, with her, the gap became a year, and then a month. Tomorrow, the gap will be a week. She and her cousins and siblings who live close by have made me feel as if I’ve got a large family close by, despite my actual family being widespread, small, and difficult to see because of [2020/rona]. I know not what the future holds beyond my hopes, but I know that I’m better with her.

I’m thankful for all the friends and frens along the way who’ve been kindred spirits, who’ve made me laugh and smile at different times.

I’m thankful for all the mistakes I’ve made and the lessons I’ve learned from them. I’m a better man because of them. This is especially true of the last two years. My head is screwed on so much tighter that I wonder if I had been sleepwalking up till this point.

Finally, I’m thankful for God and his love for me, a sinner. Because of him, I know I need not despair at my lot in life, because I can improve it. In this life and the next.

Wald