Sardine Game

I came onto this randomly visiting friends in London.

I walked onto the tube one day, looked at someone and said,

“Hello my fellow sardine.”

“Excuse me?”

“Sardine. We are all sardines here.”


“And not the good kind either. Nope.We are bottom of the barrel.”

“What’s that?

“Danish sardines.They try to make up for lack of quality by jam packing their tins with too many sardines. Notice how little space we have. Swedish sardines are in the middle and Russian sardines are premium.

Don’t worry though – you’ll be normal once you get off the tube.”

Usually I do this on the most crowded tubes in London. Nowhere else have I been, where the tubes are consistently as crowded as London. I have never gotten numbers or lays from this. But that is because I’ve never tried. I started out doing this out of boredom and a desire to make myself more sociable. People ask my name or where I’m from and what I’m doing in London. Men and woman. It’s not too much of a stretch of the imagination to get numbers from this.

You can say stupid shit with a straight face and people will eat it up.

“The famous sardine, Hobbes once said that life is brutish and short. Now I understand what he meant. Stuffed in a tin and then chomped to bits.”

The important part I guess, is that I have fun with this.


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